[words that do what]
an inconsistant murmour of words
is all that i am, sometimes.
sometimes im a fuckin' genius!;
the life of the party & the
man
who gets things done.
sometimes im a flake; a
foolish fool/ pathetic drunken
waste of
a life thats both
bitter
& oh so sweet...
...
distorted drama lens' barely
see;
barely cognitive
in my
revery.
an inconsistant murmour of words
sometimes
is all i really
need.

[drowning in my own vomitus]
give me something good----------
& i will fuck it up.
its a promise & a threat; &
a pre-emptive attempt
for the shit-ridden maelstrom
that will most certainly ensue.
(little more than my
standard
half-assed excuse)
build no expectations; up or
otherwise;
expose myself, too early (maybe)
to feel like ive nothing
to hide
im a sinner, a mongrel,
a bastard (whore)
im my mothers worst nightmare
(a stain on the floor)
give me something beautiful,
bright, shinny, & clean-----
i will
mangle, destroy, decimate, ruin
it (indeed)
trust in me.

[love me]
losing
another day to
madness
chock it up to
sleeping
eyes that never close...
i'm
hopelessly peculiar
not another
danger
swear upon my honor...
once i was a
teacher
with thoughts about
forever
languished in the evening
forgetful like you know
me...
taking in both handfuls
better off than most
fools
worry about the
feeling
distracting me from doing...
all these
good things
(meanings)
that which cant replace
that look
on your sweet face.
love of my life
with freckled eyes...

[stigmata]
to you...
i write this letter
in the name of all that is good & holy
(but i know we can do better)
this has nothing to do with
anything holy
im looking out for you
(my baby)
these times are mastered
by
those who might not know a
goddamn thing
(i might emit sounds to
echo
my reasons)
do nothing drastic, my love
(my darling)
dont sacrifice your place in the world
(please?)
i need to know that my thoughts wont end
with me.
this past they have told us
(in failed attempts to try &
hold us)
does little more than embold
us;
will of equals, pride of none
quite benieth us (all little ones)
nothing left of some tribal
conquest
but you & me;
you
& i
---we must heal.


waiting patiently
on drugs?---maybe
mind so diseased
the demon he knows
needs
to be pleased...
object conceived
(end with reprieve)
awash in your fleas
(awake in the sea)
the foam, make-believe
breathe, baby,
breathe

[like a teenage boy]
punishment ensues
(a lack of you in my life)
corporal punishment
all the life we loose
(i said i was sorry, & meant it too!)
unreciprocated motion unwinds
the inner-workings;
time.
feels like a bamboo cane is being
taken to my insides.
(i want to make things
right)
but who am i?
(except the one you said you
loved)
& by
what right do i speak?
too many images sometimes
(makes it harder to breathe)
so do you, or dont you?
(make love as big as an ocean)
say you do
& i will too.
i miss you.