legal beagle
the various legal problems i am currently attending to or are against me:
1) auto accident from 3.1.02 {current status: in settlement}
2) possesion ticket from 3.23.02 {current status: arraignment on 6.13.02; im gonna fight it!}
3) witness to an assult on 5.30.02 {current staus: on call}
all i can say is my lawyer...loves me.
06 June 2002
my life as a vegetable
>>>>>intercept II 19 MM0II-b
//bgn
down in the drags but im still pure
been lost together, me and my girl
she left me for a mirror image of me
she left me so alone i would be
do you love me or my words?
soft spoken and redeeming
golden or demeaning
in tattered clothes i bare the flag
shot up in galleries same as my dad
went out to bakersfield to see what i'd find
got lost in the desert drinking turpentine
arch your back
curl your toes
eyes dilate
escaping moan
warm breath
soft touch
not enough
not too much
hands pressed
minds collide
all as one
body, mine
think you can beat this? think you have won?
tempt me twice more and we'll dance
who knows what you're bitter heart can unleash
backed up dumpsters and garbage disposals
tethered down to a railroad track, seconds away
i want to scream
but no one can hear me
bound and gagged by suit jacket and tie
beg for forgiveness but pious im not
i can't help this feeling
im uncontrolled
where is my lover
covered in gold
//end
>>>>>intercept II 19 MM0II-b
>>>>>intercept II 19 MM0II-b
//bgn
down in the drags but im still pure
been lost together, me and my girl
she left me for a mirror image of me
she left me so alone i would be
do you love me or my words?
soft spoken and redeeming
golden or demeaning
in tattered clothes i bare the flag
shot up in galleries same as my dad
went out to bakersfield to see what i'd find
got lost in the desert drinking turpentine
arch your back
curl your toes
eyes dilate
escaping moan
warm breath
soft touch
not enough
not too much
hands pressed
minds collide
all as one
body, mine
think you can beat this? think you have won?
tempt me twice more and we'll dance
who knows what you're bitter heart can unleash
backed up dumpsters and garbage disposals
tethered down to a railroad track, seconds away
i want to scream
but no one can hear me
bound and gagged by suit jacket and tie
beg for forgiveness but pious im not
i can't help this feeling
im uncontrolled
where is my lover
covered in gold
//end
>>>>>intercept II 19 MM0II-b
04 June 2002
language barrier
little punk rock bunny doll
all hopped up on smiles
send a smile out to me
i'll save it for a rainy day
when im standing all alone outside
wearing nothing but that smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cowboy made of paper clips
lost hi-way
the desert moves and breathes you life
calls sanctimony out
with glitter to make the ceiling
and glass to close the world
not too much now, she sees me
and hollywood collides...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
palm
mighty
lamerica and you
gold coast
shiny
a stranger creeping forward
little punk rock bunny doll
all hopped up on smiles
send a smile out to me
i'll save it for a rainy day
when im standing all alone outside
wearing nothing but that smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cowboy made of paper clips
lost hi-way
the desert moves and breathes you life
calls sanctimony out
with glitter to make the ceiling
and glass to close the world
not too much now, she sees me
and hollywood collides...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
palm
mighty
lamerica and you
gold coast
shiny
a stranger creeping forward
-request to the management-
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head
first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays
off. I work in a damp environment. I don't get paid overtime. I work
in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high
temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the
job after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of
the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative -
you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You
don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are
65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your
designated work before you have completed the assigned task. And if
that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head
first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays
off. I work in a damp environment. I don't get paid overtime. I work
in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high
temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the
job after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of
the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative -
you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You
don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are
65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your
designated work before you have completed the assigned task. And if
that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
...ha...ha...ha...
A lonely man decided that life would be more interesting if he had a pet so he went to the pet store and told the sales person that he wanted to buy a very unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede that came in a little white box for its house.
He took the centipede in the box home and found a nice spot for it.
The man then decided to start things off by taking his new pet to
the bar for a drink, so he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go to the bar with me for a drink?"
...but there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered the man, but he waited a few moments and then asked the centipede again, "How about going to the bar with me and having a drink with me?" ...but again there was no answer from the centipede.
The man waited a few moments and asked him one more time, this time putting his face against the centipede's house and shouting,
"Hey in there!
Would you like to go to the bar and have a drink with me?"
A little voice comes out of the box:
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my fucking shoes!"
Thank you for your cooperation.
**from shorty
A lonely man decided that life would be more interesting if he had a pet so he went to the pet store and told the sales person that he wanted to buy a very unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede that came in a little white box for its house.
He took the centipede in the box home and found a nice spot for it.
The man then decided to start things off by taking his new pet to
the bar for a drink, so he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go to the bar with me for a drink?"
...but there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered the man, but he waited a few moments and then asked the centipede again, "How about going to the bar with me and having a drink with me?" ...but again there was no answer from the centipede.
The man waited a few moments and asked him one more time, this time putting his face against the centipede's house and shouting,
"Hey in there!
Would you like to go to the bar and have a drink with me?"
A little voice comes out of the box:
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my fucking shoes!"
Thank you for your cooperation.
**from shorty
03 June 2002
Personality Disorder of the Week
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
-has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
-is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
-believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
-requires excessive admiration
-has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
-is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
-lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
-is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
-shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Associated Features
-Depressed Mood
-Dramatic/Erratic/Antisocial Personality
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Differential Diagnosis
Histrionic Personality Disorder; Antisocial Personality Disorder; Borderline Personality Disorder; Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder; Schizotypal Personality Disorder; Paranoid Personality Disorder; Manic Episodes; Hypomanic Episodes; Personality Change Due to a General Medical Condition; symptoms that may develop in association with chronic substance use.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
-has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
-is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
-believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
-requires excessive admiration
-has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
-is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
-lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
-is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
-shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Associated Features
-Depressed Mood
-Dramatic/Erratic/Antisocial Personality
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Differential Diagnosis
Histrionic Personality Disorder; Antisocial Personality Disorder; Borderline Personality Disorder; Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder; Schizotypal Personality Disorder; Paranoid Personality Disorder; Manic Episodes; Hypomanic Episodes; Personality Change Due to a General Medical Condition; symptoms that may develop in association with chronic substance use.
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