The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note ... each is numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever
you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions
and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know,
I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh!!

bored and lonely and a little bit scared
here is exactly what is needed for those with too much time on thier hands {administration-whores and bitch-clerks; data-entry-scum and mail-room-morons...i too slaved under the flickering phosphorescent lights of corporate america, mindlessly stabbing at a keyboard...i spent about 15% of my day doing actual work, the rest looking for stupid shit LIKE THIS

okay, so im a little bit crazy...
i took some personality disorder -test...some wierd site i found on google...what do you think? i want to know

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of May 3 through May 9

There is a Full Moon in Scorpio on Tuesday, which is going to make matters appear more emotional than they might really be. Jupiter turns direct in your sign, which brings you more opportunities, but this week it might be better to hold off, as the Sun also squares Neptune. There is a possibility of confusion, especially if signing a legal paper associated with your job. Your love life continues to be as bizarre as ever, and this keeps you on your toes. If you watch and wait, you will learn a lot.