...ha...ha...ha...
A lonely man decided that life would be more interesting if he had a pet so he went to the pet store and told the sales person that he wanted to buy a very unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede that came in a little white box for its house.

He took the centipede in the box home and found a nice spot for it.

The man then decided to start things off by taking his new pet to
the bar for a drink, so he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go to the bar with me for a drink?"

...but there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered the man, but he waited a few moments and then asked the centipede again, "How about going to the bar with me and having a drink with me?" ...but again there was no answer from the centipede.

The man waited a few moments and asked him one more time, this time putting his face against the centipede's house and shouting,

"Hey in there!

Would you like to go to the bar and have a drink with me?"
A little voice comes out of the box:

"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my fucking shoes!"
Thank you for your cooperation.

**from shorty