[R.I.P.]
the paper tells me of The War
the body count; the latest
score.
as i read the names of those
who died
i cannot help myself
i cannot
cry.
those young men &
women
who give their lives
for
(so-called) 'freedom'
but who is free?
not us
not them
(they being those of a
foreign land)
only those who cease
to be
are the ones who are
truly free
resting in
peace.

[retrograde]
the mountains loom
in the fog
where does this
road
go?
what is god?
my child dies,
and i take off
...

[esoteric knowledge]
since i cannot have
the love i need
i will
kill
my need for love

[from the eyes of a pigeon]
the church bells ring
screaming
"go to church, you fiend!"
as i nest myself in my
city roof-top perch.
i will preach
The Word
to all the other birds;
aquiline absolution.
and we will have
a little
peace
& shit on all the
humans.

[tune in toledo]
another random radio relay
full of
trumped up words she felt
compelled
to say.
feigned effort to set things
straight
...its too late.

[gargling gasoline]
choc full of magic
worries
thoughts
that weigh one down
like a pair of
leaden shoes
but when spirits are
high
on mega-octane fuel
with super-conductors spinning
out-of-control
& i'm
smoking
like its going out of style
a hippie walking down the street
looks at me &
tosses me a beer
' says
i look lonely
buddy,
you have no idea...

[au sec]
i dont think it matters,
really;
what i think---which means
that
it doesnt matter
that
it doesnt matter
----right?

a simple twist of tongue
in cheek
in deep thought while
tying up the airwaves
&
the spaces
between
the I
& me

[shape shifter]
i dont care anymore
and i hope that makes you happy
i'd given into to that lovely sin
waist deep and sinking further in
remembered what i'd been before
by god! i had been happy
without the sappy, lovey-dovey-type
shit
i believed in a world that ends
(every night, when i closed my
eyes)
but now
i dont care anymore
the truth is as twisted as a
word
one vague recollection,
an unsightly excuse;
gorged on reflection until
i saw the truth!
it has nothing to do
with either me
or you
dancing and spinning
(but you never danced with me)
unabashed in good feeling
and tearing thru walls
now
atlast
i have seen the true path
and it has nothing to do with the past
its all ancient history now
to me
the futures wide open
you see???
terminal velocity out thru the door
i just dont care
anymore

[tomorrowoodland]
tomorrow never waits for
the sun-rise;
the witching hour before the
twitching light
shines brightest----
the striking bells sounding
its arrival.
a new day to do
whatever.
in the bleak night
before sunrise
when
to-morrow
becomes
to-day

[message recieved]
she sends me a message
thru the static air
across the stretch of
1000 miles
she believes the words
of
some wanna-be, would-be lover
(wont take my word over another)
making accusations about a certain
grrrl
(cant she see these billboard lies?!);
she severs all ties
with me
such hypocracy!
nevermind the very same guy
does the same as i
or
that she fills the void by
donating her time to this
(-pfff-)
'guy'
despite what i had to say
she believes she has the right to say
'its not that like that'
this time
as i said
i wont fight it
i may not want or like it
but i wont fight it
she sent a message to me
well, baby,
i guess now i can see
love wrapped up in hypocracy
she sent a message to me
...
message recieved

[rosey city miles]
moving on along this celluloid
nightmare
on up thru these un-shot scenes
still
tingling
with anticipation;
---wheels turning 'round in
shy apprehension.
weary bones could tell
9 stories;
so much broken vinyl
(but that gets boring &
i dont wanna)
like a gas-bag breaking wind
& shut-up firmly in denile---
' sure am racking in
those
rosey city miles.

[X-O]
you made me feel
(and i may never forgive you
for that)
scratch that,
you got me wanting
to feel.
y' told me this was
for real
(n' stuff);
that one true-love-type
stuff
(with kisses & flowers)
a real prospect at
a real
'forever'.
whatever.
thats what you say instead
now.
as if it was all
some
no-big-deal.
i will love you
(now &)
forever,
goddamn you;
you made me feel.

[drivin' with the devil]
baby, baby, baby no----
dont you dare now cry for me
im on my way home
in the
devils own back seat.
baby, baby, baby oh----
my love turned lovely blue
im on my way down
to hell
yeah,
im coming after you...

wouldnt it be nice to
stay together?
wouldnt it be nice to
stay in love?
oh, baby baby baby; lover
wouldnt it be great to never
have
enough?

{a shameless plug}
...check out the dirty pigeons myspace page...
new songs
good fun

-b

[ad absurdum]
the energy, raw; of what was
forged
created this mighty thunderstorm.
shadow, vague; of a mighty thing
thunder strike
music rings...

pigs fuck, in my mind, &
in kind,
i too am fucked. outta
luck
&
morbidly wasting away...

but i gotta go...

down
down
DOWN
the penetant road
expressing sorrow;
make it known.
live, learn, & grow.
move along
the penetant road.

[amazing]
watch a child play
be amazed-----
revel in not having
one damn thing to say
to anybody-----
dwell on a fading,
lingering taste;
make the effort to not
look away-----
sit with fingers interlaced
striving hard for
inner peace-----
with little effort, another day
to stand before you
& be amazed.

[IIANTA PEI]
all things flow
as everything should know
once we pass
the open door
cerebral hemmorage
evermore
koo koo like the raven
except
youre only a pigeon
doing the dance of
slight impersonation
wallowing mistfully in
un-appreciation
i am the savior
only i couldnt save
her
or myself
but what is self?
this impersonal hell?
all things flow
i think therefor i know
what has come will always
go
better off
fo' sho'


is love a sonnet to be learned
& forgotten?
the helping hand
the striking fist
an evil look
sweetness, kiss
maybe love is a luxury
reserved for certain
somebody's
love either is
or isnt
isnt it?
love is the most personal of freedoms
only its not garunteed
...set out on a voyage of
discovery
only to discover
why i left it in the first place.
im still hung up on the dream
persistant need (or the lack
there of)
casual-fling
no, no, NO
one true love
what funny things it can do.
all things must flow
only you & i can know
who i want to injure my pride
who i want to be inside
and inside of me
(lil devil of wants and needs
keeps
bothering me)
no substitutes to pleasure
see me now like all those
others
death of a perfect pair of
lost lovers

i am suffering
a crisis of the heart
& a
crisis of the mind
.
how can i keep moving on
when i've left all i want
behind?
i do things for these
other people
(& occasionally some for me)
but always (ALWAYS!) all i do is
evil
;
i never do the right thing...
but im glad you are happy
i always said you were better off without me
that someday you'd no longer
need
me.
the starlight weeps the night on down
i am suffering.

[manufacturers warning II]
left behind as we scribbled in our
ashes,
dust.
in the whole-y un-holy
-est
of names:
self-sacrifice.
hallowed be thy name.
with angel tongue
to touch the sun.
the clock is ticking (&
i am stalling----)
pretend that i am laughing
but im sobbing.
i wish i was holding you tight
i wish i could turn back time
(unfortunate Cher reference there)
i wish that i could make everything
all right.
(but im not that great
now am i?)
just one more night, just one last
dance
to feel your heat
intertwined;
holding hands.
by all these stars of wasted
beauty
you taste like love to me
i feel all parapalegically/-like
i feel good in your eyes
i truly did (& do)
i wish i had the words for you
to explain
in
plain damn english
the enormity behind
when i
say
"i love you".
thrice we spoke of just
'being friends'
but last time we both said 'yes'
still went on as if
nothing'd changed
i felt you running back to me
i am weak, i know
& you have (always) been there for me
(& i got good at thinking selfishly)
i am so grateful
thankful
full of so much...
i was so full of secrets (as ive
always been)
but you too, i guess.
i can preach about all my errors
all night
but we chose and do what we think is
right
right?
like the line: 'whats best for me'
i tried it but it felt shitty
whats best for YOU
IS
whats best for me
i love you to death
with flowers
forever!!
bright stars die when too close
together
if i could kiss you now...
would that make it all better?
live on happily in
forever
ive known you were strong
(remember?)
so,
please,
write me letters of joy, not of
longing
laugh, please, so hard that it shakes
your whole
body
----SMILE! &
mean it.
dig deep and remember me then
BE
& be happy.
wonderfully happy, a bright joyous star
(like you always are)

keep my words, my love
always close around you
its my heart inked in verbs
& nouns
my heart for you,
absolute
truth.

xo baby

[just rosey]
feel my heart pumping
& a warm glow rising there.
a simple fool is all i
aspire
to be
in the harboring shadows
of this rosey city

drink too much----
never have money;
dont drink enough----
i go out of my mind.
the dreaded (much needed)
sober time

resting on my laurels
you must know i tried
(didnt i?)
now
all i feel is deplorable
cannot hide
i am an imbecile
too much of the fool
to be cool

dont take away from the
sun-screen
day-dream
air brushed men's magazine
line 'em all up, baby
1-2-3...
' say im sorry
'cause
GOD
im sorry.