[manufacturers warning II]
left behind as we scribbled in our
ashes,
dust.
in the whole-y un-holy
-est
of names:
self-sacrifice.
hallowed be thy name.
with angel tongue
to touch the sun.
the clock is ticking (&
i am stalling----)
pretend that i am laughing
but im sobbing.
i wish i was holding you tight
i wish i could turn back time
(unfortunate Cher reference there)
i wish that i could make everything
all right.
(but im not that great
now am i?)
just one more night, just one last
dance
to feel your heat
intertwined;
holding hands.
by all these stars of wasted
beauty
you taste like love to me
i feel all parapalegically/-like
i feel good in your eyes
i truly did (& do)
i wish i had the words for you
to explain
in
plain damn english
the enormity behind
when i
say
"i love you".
thrice we spoke of just
'being friends'
but last time we both said 'yes'
still went on as if
nothing'd changed
i felt you running back to me
i am weak, i know
& you have (always) been there for me
(& i got good at thinking selfishly)
i am so grateful
thankful
full of so much...
i was so full of secrets (as ive
always been)
but you too, i guess.
i can preach about all my errors
all night
but we chose and do what we think is
right
right?
like the line: 'whats best for me'
i tried it but it felt shitty
whats best for YOU
IS
whats best for me
i love you to death
with flowers
forever!!
bright stars die when too close
together
if i could kiss you now...
would that make it all better?
live on happily in
forever
ive known you were strong
(remember?)
so,
please,
write me letters of joy, not of
longing
laugh, please, so hard that it shakes
your whole
body
----SMILE! &
mean it.
dig deep and remember me then
BE
& be happy.
wonderfully happy, a bright joyous star
(like you always are)

keep my words, my love
always close around you
its my heart inked in verbs
& nouns
my heart for you,
absolute
truth.

xo baby