24 June 2004

ROTF - LMAO

Check THIS out

23 June 2004

i actually turned this in to my skool

Experience with Teams
Brian Drummy
University of Phoenix
Group SV04ICS01
SOC/110 – Teamwork, Collaboration, and Conflict Resolution
Dennis Golden
June 23, 2004


The Groups I don’t Belong To

I exist in a weird social nexus of required, but forced, sociability and my preference of solitude. I work in a social environment: in a small, quaint, little coffeehouse in San Clemente, Ca. But the show of ‘social-butterfly’ is a manifestation of my need to earn wages and easy to do because the interactions are short and with purpose. The other employee’s and I have a strained relationship because I was hired-in over them. We see each other in passing and never hold non-work related conversations. I also perform music on-stage but I play alone and it is more a ‘show’ than anything else is is. Fortunately it is one that enjoy.
Me, myself, and I

I laid out several goals not too long ago, some short-term and one long-term. The short-term goals were to complete my agonizingly slow ascension towards a Degree; also, to complete and implement my business plan to open my own coffee-shop/lounge. My only long-term goal is to enjoy life while I still live and to bare no regret on my death. I am getting a little long in the tooth. I am not a spring chicken any more. There are certain things that have to be done. The focus of this group, me-myself-and-I, is to see to ALL these goals through completion.
No Two Minds About It

‘I’ assumed the role of Presidency of this council. The role of Secretary was given to ‘me’. And the last thing everyone agreed on was to give the role of Treasurer to ‘myself’. We never get anywhere near an agreement. ‘I’ totally stopped talking to ‘myself’ during the last meeting. But ‘I’ took several good measures such as enrolling in University of Phoenix. But with crazy, abnormal events constantly happening to ‘me’ and the way ‘I’ always differ ‘myself’ It is difficult going but we all strive to achieve.
Late Night Occurrence’s

‘We’, the members of Me, Myself and I, LLC; meet regularly during late night insomnia sessions. ‘We’ are all insomniacs, and I’m sure the late-night arguing did nothing to help that. “We’ would, and still do, sit for hours at night, and every so now and then ‘we’ actually get something positive accomplished. ‘I’ always started with open discussion but said little after that. And then ‘I’ would not even vote on accords. Weekly we develop ‘To Do’ lists and generally get them done. The groups over-all function would improve drastically if “we’ were not so pig-headed.
A Whole New Me, -Myself, and I; LLC

First I would give all the judgement and ultimate authority to ‘me’. Then ‘I’ would be left alone to be more of a ‘free-range’ thinker. Then ‘I’ would have to fire ‘myself’ for always being drunk and disorderly, of coarse. And with this one foul swoop the team would instantaneously be less burdened by 1/3! Productivity would increase by more than half! ‘I’ never liked ‘myself’ and would be glad to do it.
Rules and Regulations

‘We’ set down weekly ‘To Do’ lists every Sunday night. This list is to be in accordance with the original two short-term and the lone long-term goals. These are followed by nightly discussion on what was accomplished and the list is revised, often several times by ‘me’ alone. The list is to be completed by Friday night. With our mutual workweek ending, generally, on Thursday’s, this allows us to have one full day to get things done. Wednesdays and Mondays are primarily occupied with school with Thursday and Sunday nights being devoted to practice with music. Often one thing spills into the next and work is of late intruding into areas where it mustn’t, like school. But ‘we’ have taken measures to correct this. ‘I’ will find a new job.
The End?

As the end is no where near, hopefully; ‘we’ cannot be certain of success. But the necessary measures have been taken as ‘we’ see fit towards our final objectives. The final say in the matter is up to ‘me’. ‘I’ will get us there by firing ‘myself’ and getting employment more stable, and less prone to flooding. Studying at the University of Phoenix has helped foster other relationships, but ridiculous circumstances have seen those desolve as most do. ‘I’ will join a new team every class to help ‘me’ deal with socializing by shortening the relationships. ...I know this paper is not exactly what is called for on the work sheet. But after an honest look at ‘myself’, I found no real social interaction worth mentioning. What ‘I’ lacks in knowledge, ‘I’ makes up for in creativity…?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you

you make me wink; you make me smile
you know the things i try to hide
you may be passion; you think im prude
you come in here i come unglued
you hold my hand; your tie me up
' stare back at me when we make love...

got all these questions...
...you gotta believe me...
its the difference...
...you gotta believe me!!!

[humm]

you grab my ass; you have beautiful eyes
you seem to love me to my surprise
you push me back; you toy with me
you fill my head with real-life dreams
you think im funny; you say im not
you helped me find what Love i'd lost...

22 June 2004

smooth criminal, etc., etc...
okay she moves me; but i like it best that way; she never tells but for a moment; she cant help but to move me; she doesnt know her shame...

dont ask me for her name
she knows who i am
dont tell me that again
we are never apart...

she is standing in the back now; look out my way; im standing here in the spotlight; so she will notice me...

dont you do that just for me
i do cause of need
you could be my better half
and they wont tear us apart...

21 June 2004

quote of the day
The fortune which nobody sees makes a person happy and unenvied.
~Francis Bacon~

11 June 2004

wilde oscar
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get
married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've
lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"Sorry we don't serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under
his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass
of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "It! 's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The
kids were nothing to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull
before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and ! examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are
Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother Colin or my y! ounger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
day but I couldn't find any.

15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet
him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off
your arms!"

17. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled
a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but
when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the
BAR TENDER here?"

03 June 2004

Quote of the Week

"Why do you think Uranus felt pain when he realized his reign was over?"
~Retold Classic Myths; The Perfection Form Company (1990)~

26 May 2004

California History

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850?

California became a state.
The state had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California is today,
only the women had real boobs.

21 May 2004

nocturnal-urination -nation
in a vague summer night's worst nightmare, speculate this: he who'so ever pulleth this sword from this stone shall be forwith rightful king of all England---does this seem MAD to anyone else?

20 May 2004

chronologically gifted


If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

BUT

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work
and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's
the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top
the kewlest thing since play-doh

CLICK HERE

16 May 2004

a playground thing...


hang around the playground through sunsets/sunrise; taking up the weekend..,could take all night; say it aint so and put on fake feelings; dashboard indebted to the imprint of my brow FOR MY DIRTY PIGEONS...

10 May 2004

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of May 10 through May 16

Mercury makes a great aspect to Venus on Monday, so make use of this to negotiate some wonderful deals with all the right people. You gain special favor with those in positions of power and authority. You are able to charm them with your style, flair, and know-how, and your meticulous attention to detail. Pull out all the stops, and go straight for the big prize. Mars has now joined Saturn in Cancer, so your social life should begin to pick up, after a period in which is has seemed a bit dull.

06 May 2004

The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note ... each is numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever
you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions
and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know,
I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh!!

03 May 2004

bored and lonely and a little bit scared
here is exactly what is needed for those with too much time on thier hands {administration-whores and bitch-clerks; data-entry-scum and mail-room-morons...i too slaved under the flickering phosphorescent lights of corporate america, mindlessly stabbing at a keyboard...i spent about 15% of my day doing actual work, the rest looking for stupid shit LIKE THIS
okay, so im a little bit crazy...
i took some personality disorder -test...some wierd site i found on google...what do you think? i want to know


DisorderRating
Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:High
Schizotypal:Very High
Antisocial:High
Borderline:Very High
Histrionic:Very High
Narcissistic:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:High
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --


Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of May 3 through May 9

There is a Full Moon in Scorpio on Tuesday, which is going to make matters appear more emotional than they might really be. Jupiter turns direct in your sign, which brings you more opportunities, but this week it might be better to hold off, as the Sun also squares Neptune. There is a possibility of confusion, especially if signing a legal paper associated with your job. Your love life continues to be as bizarre as ever, and this keeps you on your toes. If you watch and wait, you will learn a lot.

30 April 2004

pepsi generation and d-generates

The National Hip-Hop Generation Political Something-Or-Other is looking for volunteers for any of you hep-cat-quasi-political-freedom-fighters...check it out...

29 April 2004

...ya' gall-darn' hooligan!...

i saw the funniest thing on craigslist.org today...in the LA section...listed between: "Film Promotion Girl Needed (One Night Only) (Hollywood) " and " Acting Academy - Director (Lake Arrowhead, CA)...check it out....


AMMEDED 22JUN2004://

THE ABOVE LINK WAS 'REMOVED FROM THE CRAIGSLIST COMMUNITY'...

hahahahaha thats some funny shit...
final note on dirty pigeons [here anyway...]

DIRTY PIGEONS!?!