premature emasculation
in a dream i can hardly remember; her smell, her touch, her taste; bubble gum and tangerine skies; so much for this tuesday of wasted wet dreams; my punchbowl narcotic life-style; i am truely a fiend; like an old polaroid snap-shot that triggers no memories; but i know that it happened...that boy in the picture---so faded---thats me; cheecks sunken in, eyes open wide; and the grrrl of my heart stands at my side...

fawkin' hell
To make pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
~Charles Buxton~

one arm tied behind my back

i have a couple things to post and dont feel like separating them so:


to my love from firenze; please dont let this love end
i'll bribe angels or gods to win back your heart
i love you and feel it in the tiny quarks that make cells...
that make up all the fucked up peices of me...
but you said you loved me, i know it was true
please try to forgive as i have and would you...
put it behind, chalk it up to the past
i want yours to be the face, and the voice i hear last...
tell me you hate me, call me names in languages i cant understand
but atleast let me know youre okay; still breathe; or demand-
that i come to you right now, this very week
pick you up in cab and sweep you up of your feet
carry you away to live out as one
let all this be over and our new life just begun;

####RCVD XMSN::::::
...i have begun recording {for all you horny ghosts out there} again...under the name 'dirty pigeons'...my fetish with monkeys has been replaced with birds...after a brief exploit at life in The City, and finding it lacking in civility...i have re-focused myself into readying a new release...a working title is "bi-polar-manic-insomniac, seeks same; must have own drum-set; snorkle a plus"...a bit long but we'll see...
...so having returned to the now infamous OC, the county hated my millions, worshipped by many, and is itself another cog in the great life-eating machinery...i have tooled around with evan and neil of "a white-wall advertisement"...a couple of ghetto fabulous rappers from miami named 'Freeze' and 'Ski-Mask'...who kicked out some mean rhymes...a debut show is in the works at AAA ELEKTRA Co-Op Art museum in orange...more to follow...and i can be occasionally found monday nights at kelly mcCue's in mission potatoe, off los alisos past jeronimo...keep the name radiation-burned into what passes as a cerbrum in your neaderthal-like cranium...or better yet, write it down...anywhere...everywhere..."dirty pigeons will shit on your head" ...get a sharpie and go for a walk...send me a pic of a public exhibition like this and you will win a free dirty pigeons t-shirt, stickers, used condoms, and all sorts of goodies...maybe even free tickets to the up-coming CD release party {if my psychotic-perfectionist-tendancies dont mutilate this release like all the others}...cross your fingers...take a deep breath...count to ten...fondle yourself as needed to alleviate stress...

...keep checking here for more 'dirty pigeons' news updates/info

-bd

###XMIT END::::::

"i get up when i want, except on thursdays when i get rudely awakened my the gas man; i get out of bed, put my trousers on, and i THINK about leaving me house...
...johns got thru and thru; he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons, they love a bit of him...
...i feed the squirels, i sometimes feed the sparrows too; it gives me an enormous sense of well-being; and then im happy for the rest of the day; safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it..."

"you should cut down on your park-life, boy...get some exorcise..."

"all the people, so many people; and they all go 'round and 'round all day; park-life"


no feelings were hurt in the making of this message

too much of a good thang'
i could have an evil, but i kept up the streak;walking past people, only seeing their feet; never seen a face, i dont even see me; stab at an arm with a tongue in your cheek...
pompous... fascist... freak

bad ideas...a dirty arm...ask how'd we end up like this...wasnt doing no harm...


**neil...email me C L I C K H E R E to be Dean Moriarty

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of April 5 through April 11

Mercury turns direct on Tuesday, and this may hold things up for some weeks to come. You love to be organized, but may have to be content to go with the flow and get used to unusual happenings that will bring you interesting results. The power of synchronicity could be very noticeable. But it won't be a good idea to buy or sign anything of major importance. It's better to wait until Mercury is back on track once again. You can finish off your unfinished business though, with real success.

cant be held accountable

flying high on an airplane again
cigarette shakes in my hand
i cant believe what They said...
told that damn lie again
told us a lie and it true
so played out for you
tear at the wires all the time
but it just keeps coming out...

can i drift with you tonite
on these could-be-clouds around me
would you tell her that i said its alright
alright...
alright now,
-

spent all last night
in the terminal-lounge
just me and this guy on a pill that he found
playing for the empty halls
playing just to make some noise
playing cause theres nothing else to do...

if i cant be held accountable
id like to drift tonite
on these would-be-could-be clouds around me
she says that its alright
alright...
all right.

nifty
>Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy. . WOW!

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of March 29 through April 4

Your thoughts are on the deep emotional bonds you share, as well as your joint finances. But right now there is nothing too worrying to have to contend with. You might have to take care on Thursday, when the Sun sextiles Neptune, as you will be more out of touch with reality than usual. Don't make any snap decisions regarding your job, without checking in on others and their ideas first. Mercury moves into Taurus, which is for business trips, and for getting your point across in novel situations.

a question to me friendster
couldnt i love you just the way you are...? so many years now i'd look forward to getting to know you all over again...if offered a chance---will she give me that second glance?...sounded offended when you returned my last call...you know how i hate valentine's...and yes i still get so drunk i pass out in the street, or on a front porch...would you mind if it was yours?...it takes a little longer, my body is a little stronger...i may be a lush but im certainly not a whore---atleast not anymore...could i be that guy that could bring back that sparkle to you eye...im so afraid of failing that my attempts at contact seem vague and misleading...im like a baby, teething---ive got this pain inside...a great big whole, bright sun burning from my life...this life i no longer loathe...like when its your child you hold... i could be that man for whom you scan the crowded room for...i could be the one that leaves you always thirsting for more...i could be... everything

god@onemanout.com on friendster

my baby is my devil
tossed out, dimembered
a thought to remember
swollen from apetite
too empty to be bright
lodged my complaint
sinister saint
its cold and im tired
and i just dont know

explain way the rain
there's sunshine in spain
in cataluyna, far from roma
we can be...
...just be...

my angel's a devil
she carries me home
im too drunk to level
i wanna be stoned
with green eyes like absinthe
she talks slowly for me
i cant understand
i cant hardly speak

carry me away
to the sunshine of spain
with picasso blue, oh, and baby too
we can be...
...just be...

kewl shit

OUR UNIVERSE

a letter to the editor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a sour drift, a sour pen;
loose lips, looser then;
count once, count to ten;
and all these visions start again;

somebody hold me, somebody nail me to the floor;
got something to show me? got nothing but ive had it all before;

sad life at 21;
start now, live for fun;
take care, and take notes;
this life you have it is no joke;

somebody help me, somebody help me help some more;
got nothing to show for it? got nothing but ive had it all before...

too many dishes piled up
to make my favorite dinner
too many people all tied up
how could i become a winner...

too many secrets left untold
where's the ear to listen?
two bottles on the floor
couldnt help the distance...
i know...

so...

peaked out at 23
look right, then look at me;
top this, be better than i am
i am...

nobody saved me?, nobody's kissed me like that before;
dont care if i show it, got nothing that ive ever had before.

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of March 22 through March 28

The Sun and Mercury are encouraging you to talk about your experiences, needs, and desires. What are your financial goals for the year ahead? If you haven't thought about any of this, then perhaps it is time to. You also need to think about where your relationship is going, as it has been changing a lot recently. Mars squares Uranus over the weekend, creating a rather reckless influence, so again don't do anything rash, especially where your career is concerned. Take a deep breath and stay calm.

"Society produces rogues, education makes one rogue cleverer than another"
~Oscar Wilde~

i told you, so...
he is thinking at this moment
as she buys another round
he hopes so has it coming
she is telling him goodbye
now hes drinking for a reason
and she knows the reason why...

so why'd you have to fuck him
if you couldnt make it home
so easy love forgotten
couldnt mean much after all

they laughed because its funny
he laughed for something to do
they mention it from time to time
he has another beer...

they didnt mind her showing
she didnt see them there
they took pictures i have seen 'em
she is laying on the table
the felt matches with her hair...

so is it re-occuring?
if so then nothing's there
but how could he forgive her
if shes couldnt care at all

~your words of love have changed~
under the moon-light; desert sand
under my shoe size; sizing up the Man
under a locked-key; broken my hand
undstand--under me--under you...

under the door-step; carved and ive bled
understood about half of what she said
underthings: laying under the bed
understand--under me--under you...

...tell me once more about it...
...tell me things that you do...
...tell my mother ive had sex...
...tell them all it was you...

under the blankets; still turning blue
under estimated by most of of you
underlings; savage see thru
understand--under me--under you...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The executive branch of the federal government has apparently enabled a lethal surprise attack with mass murder against two of the founding thirteen colonies, New York and Virginia. By such an act, the federal government would grossly violate and void its contract with the states, and abrogate its own constitutional rights and privileges. Even if you do not accept the complicity argument, it has failed to protect its largest city from the consequences of its overweening foreign policies.

Like a loose handgun, our Federal government has backfired on its owners, the States. The executive has gone to war in defiance of the Constitution, and Congress has abdicated its war-making authority on at least 200 occasions since 1945, according to the Federation of American Scientists. The federal government has proven utterly incapable and unwilling to remedy its chronic and world-threatening sickness "

It seems apropos to conclude: "if you are part of the problem, then you are not part of the solution." The solution then lies with the people themselves and not with any US government agency, least of all the Executive Branch."
---Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed, Executive Director of the Institute for Policy Research & Development, Brighton, England

Greetings Virgo
Here is your horoscope for the week of March 8 through March 14

Take extra care on Monday when Mercury, your ruling planet, makes a challenging aspect to Pluto. You might get much more than you bargained for, if you accidentally step on anyone's toes. There is the chance that your partner could let loose some deep-seated feelings that they've been bottling up. Take extra care, as even the slightest remark could have a devastating effect. Venus aspects Uranus on Tuesday, so if you get sent packing, you may find solace in a new friendship.

hold the phone

take a message; im all out of temptation; i put this off for way too long; cant feel my fingers; they told me im bleeding; somewhere down by the river; say that you see me; but your not even breathing; when can i wake from this nightmare im living...

the hole; swollen masses; they come without asking; the winter is passed and im not sure what im doing here...

fake for the foolish; elitist, stop drooling; im lost somewhere off in a song; a slight whisper tingling; the horror--that feeling; im down my the river tonite; say what your thinking; think you can break me; but im bright eyed and living a lie...

barely listening
shake your head
pretend you didnt see
the telephone ringing
and caller ID telling you its me...

wait...no...

im so much better in the un-typical way
i still bring you flowers; you still make my day
so whats the bother, where have i gone wrong
another bleeding heart of a romance already gone...

so what if i screwed it up; so what if my bowels bleed on a daily basis; so much blood and gore; aching heart an open sore; festering wounds that cannot get healed; everyday another layer gets peeled; backwards and forwards; surprising the lot of us; nothing but cowards and im locked in the trunk...