05 December 2014

Would it hurt less or more...?

Down below the crowds hoot & holler
While I get sick on the cliffs above
I've lost that last bit I clung to
My sense and sensibility, my dream, my love.
If I take 3 steps forward will this go away
1, 2... The wind makes me sway. 
I hear the happy normal everyday people in love and happy  and living their happy normal everyday lives 
Why can't that happen, why can't that be me? 
When will I find someone who won't give up on me? Why does everyone leave? 
Happiness is fleeting, joy never lasts. I'm so goddamn sick of feeling when it's just feeling sad
Alone. 
I found one who was all I've ever wanted or needed and who is like no one else I'm sure
But she finds me lacking some one little thing which she says is the only really big little thing that means
Well
Everything
It's her deal breaker she says tho it somehow only seems to matter now
She says she can't talk to me and that she's sick of talking things out with me. Calls me an ass yet says I'm so nearly perfectly perfect for her
She says
But she feels lonely , alternately all the time only sometimes. 
When it will have more effect or if god forbid I
Bring up how it's been perfect & quiet & joyously joyful of late
Yet
Suddenly it's all everything and everything's on me
My fault. 
My blame. 
My failures and I'm so frustratingly furisome and she ever and Always
So completely perfectly Purrfect
She knows I won't complain too much And take all the blame with very little fuss Just one more step
One quick Leap
For mankind and for me
And the pain will be over
And it'll be over for me