[totalitarian utilitarianism]
i am the darkness
i am the light
and when i believe this
i am whole inside

[blast]
shadow about the living-room space
dancing to the candle-light; bright-eyed &
wasted...
pass on an off-chance moment in time
in the tough shade of love, i live
totally blind
this starry-gaze of slight hazel hue
from the corner wall-hugging back-drop
view
stir in the silence-rendering night
live with the tough-love,
totally blind

[hmmmpfff]
when i needed something
you were not there
such a minor little thing
i thought only fair
a show of affection,
some sign that you cared
but you couldnt be bothered
to return what ive shared
now im left with a wanting
& you
just not here

[pseudo]
centered in me there lies
the dark chasm, childhood
there are things i cant
change
nor ever escape
from
its surrounded by light
& the brightness, come naturally
but 'ever it waits
there
knawing inside
me
& will remain still
when im gone

[pseudo-religious]
i lost my faith
& it may be
that
THAT
is the hardest thing
to replace

[open post]
what comes next is
anyones guess
the heart
the mind
the soul
the flesh
...needs
ignored for
what we
think
is best...
but natural to our very
existence
not love, nor lust
as we know it
something else
so different
something we must decide
is worth
all of it

[needs]
i am energized,
as i usually am
powered by all my
observations
i want
i think
i need
something...
to feel...?
...something...
real?
is it; am i;
is anything at all
really
real?
im out of passion
out of breath
and feeling
so much closer
to the death
i believe in
and thought i left
so long
ago

[naked]
a moment that i keep close to my heart
a simple thing, really; but
by and large
it does something, deep down inside
of me...
lets me know im still alive;
like a shard of glass buried below my
eye...
the moon-lit glow that holds you
close
paints your skin and inspires prose;
words that seem to just
flow...
stops me dead in my tracks; as i
trace the lines of your bare
back
the shadows the moon-light
casts...
captivating me
with the beauty of your form
art
au natural

[ star bright ]
i look at the stars & see
a million smiles raining down on me
thru the aeons of eternity
to fill me with...
something...














am i running away
or am i running towards
some future i have yet to discover
?

[ellipsis en vogue]
now is the time
sparkling new
the fat
no---
pregnant
possum
creeps thru
my new yard
& the spiders too
are multiplying
prolifically
everywhere i turn
spring is in view
the possum waddles off
to sleep
its early
still
there may be hope
for me

[loved letters]
i want to write a love letter
to her
an attempt to convey all these feelings
i have
for her
nothing grossly tangled in rhymes
or defined rhythms
no overly grandois analogies or
vague ish subtle references to
some thing
some place
some one
she may or may not even friggin
know
no,
i want to write just a pure & honest
love letter
to give
to her
about her
a declaration of my love &
adoration
for her
my respect & total acceptance
of all that makes her
HER
and this over-all & over whelming
fondness
that i feel
for her
one she'll read over 1000 times
and think of every day
each time it will make her
smile
for her
for me(!)
i want to write a love letter
and this time actually give it
to her

[pandoras neglected box]
she piqued for a sec and possiblities abounded and astounded
and left all involved feeling
very well rounded
but the thoughts led to motions that lead only to token
thoughts and expressions
and
vague-ish-type references
when i finally get what it took 8 hours to say
the moment has fled and left only a cold face
towards that which i just finally realized...(i am
pretty slow,
ye know?)
so it goes
so they say
may never know
we allowed obsticles to block our way

[office_space]
if nobody moves
the lights go out
is that true for the world?

[ it ]
unwavering
it
remains
all new
&
all the same
it
floods
&
it
drains
taking all
leaving
everything
still
it
remains
unwavering
despite
&
because
f everything...
it
remains

[ ah yeah ]
...and there she is
my un-nameable
in bright, vivid pixel
pastel hues
a coronary
waiting to happen
a breath of soul
a gods-honest-truth
(if gods can be honestly true)
to fill my empty
cavity
animate my limbs
a reason to create
created
an action
or
re-action
to a simple thing
that means the world
to me
her smile

{ quote of the week }
"all my life my heart has sought
a thing i cannot name"
~anon from "hell's angels" by HST

[thought]
run the gamut
feel the stab
the love i want
the love i have

[imbolic]
been delving deep, of late
inside this head of mine
looking back
to look ahead
these pieces of my past
create me
mold
me
shape me into
the man i am & hope
to be

{ sadness comes in 3's }

Howard Zinn

JD Salinger

????

RIP gentlemen

[memento]
mark my words
with time
it heals
strangers remarks
some subtle look
from mom
everything fades
with time
gotta love
time
the passing days
the moments
praised
shared
in love
these too
will fade
with time
the world turns
so we must keep
moving
or we too
will fade

with time...