[counting sheep]
how do i sleep
when im losing my mind
each night
all of these horrible
dreams
keep me afraid of
closing
my eyes
there are terrible things
that wait
for me
on the other side
of
the light

lobotomy101

[sic et non du]
the sunshine is key
a safe harbour in the distance
safety is everything; everything is
safety
moonlight, calm waters
beauty turned
disaster
so much in this instant
too much
but i'll take it
mirror imagery
making funny faces at everything
calm in the waters
all said & done
sunshine and happiness and i
stick out my tongue

[blue]
drawn into a dream
slowly
like in the way, way back
discovery of strength &
the ever-present will that comes
with it
a shared smile that could mean
so much
the light of eyes to
illuminate
the soul
drown inside this dream of
lonliness
& come out clean

[red]
the sun breathes color
and i do too
shades of cold-wind, winter blues
thousands of dead leaves litter
the ground
the morning train & im up
too late
the sun 'll breathe color
into my face

[hot]
bashful understatement to the mood thats
over-rated
leave it be
and just
be free
but always
never
fake it

[get it?]
another bottle to keep me
warm
a loving family to do no
wrong
a disbelief in a
right or wrong
a little grief in a heart-
love song

a vacant stare
a kiss
goodbye
see you soon
on the other side...

[gruesome]
monsters knashing bits of
flesh
salivia stench of decayed
death
behind closed eyes lies
a
movie screen
showing my horrors mixed
with
fantasy

[crimean]
love me or move me
not
waiting for the world to stop
spinning
could've been, for a while
atleast
last time
you forced that smile
from cheek to cheek
in the photographs &
the painted faces
never mind
we'll never make it

[zilch]
passive look behind your
eyes
contemplate your
suicide
never leave or love
again
silly thing
my sin

[automaton]
vision fails to reach
into consequence
a sly look could
have a thousand meanings
but these trees wont
complain
about heartaching
pain
& the stone & timber
monuments
of men
still remember what it was
like
to be free &
then some
for
their memories run deep
like the ancient caverns
of a
Lovecraftian
wet-dream
catch a glimpse & an
entire story
unfolds
carried on legs, attatched to
feet
walk away
& scream

[balls]
i thought i could do this
but
apparently im not that cool
scratching surface deep feelings
am i just a fool?
a tool?
to be used by you
at your
leisure?
insatiable teaser.
but my heart is still fragile
(im still just a whore)
ive
sobered my ways these days
no more
running out the back door
no more
running away

[who]
the whole day deflated
like
an old balloon;
weary & tired &
dying too
soon.
you watched as the
feelings
played out
'cross my face;
despite all best intentions
it always ends
the same
gotta play the game
but them rules still apply
"someone must feel pain"
& so
it seems
that someone
is
I

[damned again]
as it seems
so shall it be
the naked
truth
devouring me
i'd love to run
but there is
no time
do my
thing
close my
eyes

[hostile]
the needles kiss & i
bite
my lip.
strangers dance & its
romantic
flower pedals
that bloomed
in june
& wilt away until
next may
when promises made
shall
hold some
truth

[sterile clean]
antiseptic delirium
with a
face
that masquerades
as a
stale smile.
cause and effect and im
calling in
all bets;
hedging in
hedgemony
while
laughing
(declared insane)
(& funny)
over this;
quite
over done.
kiss, kiss
baby
see you on the
run
(we both have our fun)

[still]
im still here---
sitting
& waiting.
waiting for the opportunity
sitting on my dairie-aire;
still
im here.
& i'll
still
be here
when the cows come
home;
when it all becomes
clear.
i'll be
here.
i can
sit
&
i can
wait.
that, sometimes,
is
all it
takes

[haiku II]

buddah sits
in summers gold
& spits into the
soil

(ok, not 'haiku' technically; but shut up)

weep not, angels; no----
the point where two lines cross is
the story untold

the story reads death
too many kids dying for not
---all we need is love

so

buddah rests in all
loving angels never know
-GOD- resides in eyes

[haiku]
live, baby; be free
stay away from loving &
stay away from me

[dump]
light up a smoke
in
the soft amber glow of the
city,
street-lights.
a wash in a warm glow
spreading
thru
my veins.
the city lays silent
tonight.
eerie,
in fact.
i can almost hear the ocean
growling.
like an amputee with a
phantom itch.
1000 year itch
like how i keep scratching
my
heart.