[automaton]
vision fails to reach
into consequence
a sly look could
have a thousand meanings
but these trees wont
complain
about heartaching
pain
& the stone & timber
monuments
of men
still remember what it was
like
to be free &
then some
for
their memories run deep
like the ancient caverns
of a
Lovecraftian
wet-dream
catch a glimpse & an
entire story
unfolds
carried on legs, attatched to
feet
walk away
& scream

[balls]
i thought i could do this
but
apparently im not that cool
scratching surface deep feelings
am i just a fool?
a tool?
to be used by you
at your
leisure?
insatiable teaser.
but my heart is still fragile
(im still just a whore)
ive
sobered my ways these days
no more
running out the back door
no more
running away

[who]
the whole day deflated
like
an old balloon;
weary & tired &
dying too
soon.
you watched as the
feelings
played out
'cross my face;
despite all best intentions
it always ends
the same
gotta play the game
but them rules still apply
"someone must feel pain"
& so
it seems
that someone
is
I

[damned again]
as it seems
so shall it be
the naked
truth
devouring me
i'd love to run
but there is
no time
do my
thing
close my
eyes

[hostile]
the needles kiss & i
bite
my lip.
strangers dance & its
romantic
flower pedals
that bloomed
in june
& wilt away until
next may
when promises made
shall
hold some
truth

[sterile clean]
antiseptic delirium
with a
face
that masquerades
as a
stale smile.
cause and effect and im
calling in
all bets;
hedging in
hedgemony
while
laughing
(declared insane)
(& funny)
over this;
quite
over done.
kiss, kiss
baby
see you on the
run
(we both have our fun)

[still]
im still here---
sitting
& waiting.
waiting for the opportunity
sitting on my dairie-aire;
still
im here.
& i'll
still
be here
when the cows come
home;
when it all becomes
clear.
i'll be
here.
i can
sit
&
i can
wait.
that, sometimes,
is
all it
takes

[haiku II]

buddah sits
in summers gold
& spits into the
soil

(ok, not 'haiku' technically; but shut up)

weep not, angels; no----
the point where two lines cross is
the story untold

the story reads death
too many kids dying for not
---all we need is love

so

buddah rests in all
loving angels never know
-GOD- resides in eyes

[haiku]
live, baby; be free
stay away from loving &
stay away from me

[dump]
light up a smoke
in
the soft amber glow of the
city,
street-lights.
a wash in a warm glow
spreading
thru
my veins.
the city lays silent
tonight.
eerie,
in fact.
i can almost hear the ocean
growling.
like an amputee with a
phantom itch.
1000 year itch
like how i keep scratching
my
heart.

[dichotomy]
i loved you both
im sorry
i just couldnt help myself
me & my ego
me & my big
heart
me and this disease,
love
me
me
me
i
i
i
myself
& this
poem
alone.

the cats shit all over
mothers enraged at the ruined duvee
as i fly up, up
& away.

[final word]
casually spinning the truth
such a horrible, dishonest
prevalent thing to be doing
to twist the world
to YOUR
reality,
thats just fine and dandy.
but dont you preach to me about
'growing up';
not you.
like i'll understand and be
understood
if only i could wear
your googles.
so absent minded & self-obsessively
possesively
spinning in circles that you
forgot to add a little
truth.

[occidental]
the mystery of june
in full bloom
goes mad-man-dancing
into august
& the fruits of the
queens of a wet saturday night
september dreams
& dies soul-ly
in the black mud of creation.

adam wants his damned rib back
eve will have another heart-attack
now she knows what shes done
with the snake.

[gaud]
held in contempt for my
gaudy, god-like views
& as pretentious for all the
materials
i use.
in the fascist arena
im seen as a
un-kept mystery
with troubled, tortured
soul.
but i know
the heart of hearts of men,
in which lies all thats
defined
as devine
& the soul & the mind
collide
there.
tearing through the fabric
& veneer
of our very lives
(so dear)
look inside yourself and
find
for yourself
the heaven to match
this life of hell.

[beta betta]
whats it like being a fish,
my friend?
living a life of
just
existin'?
much sooner for you
will come
an end
but still you go on
just
existin'
oblivious
to outside demands.
just doing
what
you can.

[R.I.P.]
the paper tells me of The War
the body count; the latest
score.
as i read the names of those
who died
i cannot help myself
i cannot
cry.
those young men &
women
who give their lives
for
(so-called) 'freedom'
but who is free?
not us
not them
(they being those of a
foreign land)
only those who cease
to be
are the ones who are
truly free
resting in
peace.

[retrograde]
the mountains loom
in the fog
where does this
road
go?
what is god?
my child dies,
and i take off
...

[esoteric knowledge]
since i cannot have
the love i need
i will
kill
my need for love

[from the eyes of a pigeon]
the church bells ring
screaming
"go to church, you fiend!"
as i nest myself in my
city roof-top perch.
i will preach
The Word
to all the other birds;
aquiline absolution.
and we will have
a little
peace
& shit on all the
humans.

[tune in toledo]
another random radio relay
full of
trumped up words she felt
compelled
to say.
feigned effort to set things
straight
...its too late.