[blanket babies]
so callously beautiful, a love
soon clean.
so tenderly scorned; but who is it
who bleeds?
closed green peep'ers counting little
baby sheep;
hop-skip-jump; baby's gone...
where? direction wrong.
hold my hallow hollow brain
revved up in third gear
numb from the waist down &
not holding the wheel...
nothing is so real.
stand aside for vanity-vision
left to just float-float
away
nothing so sure as my
sanitary-sanity.
why live only to fight another day?
circled in by savage sychophantic slobbering
clowns
succumb to all the lies that weigh one
down
hold my place, beside The Face,
sweet sweet
elephant;
all thoughts make haste to run-run
away
while i cover-up my eyes...
on a string & just float-float
away
nothing so dasteredly disasterous
save my salvation-sanity
why try to live if
only to fight another day?

...flying high with attitude
see the road, clear now; so
where are you?

[seems i have no worth]
past live makes visions smile
once seen
but not obscene
since becoming lost like so many
little puppies
out in the cold cold all
alone
makes me glad for my family
mother, father
brothers with arms
no more fucked-up then any others
ive encountered
& boy----------!
have i seen some doosies;
now pushing up daisies
cut fresh & left to scent around
town
& to linger on & on & on...
random faint whiff of air
a not untraceable puf of hair
over where?!
say it like you care!!!
---goddamnit
& fuck this, by the very same
way
pushing through to be okay

[verbal dysentery]
...a trailing edge; the faintest whiff of smoke
like a wraith, slowly curls from her lips
ruby red and pursed; ready to be kissed atlast
one long night lingers on & on
across an aisle of pine & the spaces in-between
can i stare at you with my cinema eyes?
clearly focused on you. probbing you deeper;
like never before in your whole damn life...!
(a little exorcise might do me right)
c'mon, you sweet pretty thing; just a faint
peek-a-boo of a smile from you.
c'mon
show me your dimples
yeah, thats right...

{quote of the week}
"you work out the
physics
i'll work out the momentum;
wait.
thats kinda romantic"

///:end

the hope thought to be had
as if such a thing
could
be had.
swollen lonesome wet-dream
a bit more like it.
the bitter, scented scream---
ugh!!!!!orgasmic!
:)
wholesome in its over-tones
they higher you reach
the more you moan.
so...
say it aint so?!
forget me
...& i'll go.
but in those secret places
in the back of your
throat;
you'll know...
you'll know.

..........................XMIT//:

[bit-part]
i watched & as expected
the left-hand-side of it hit
square on
(sacred scars can do no harm)
the child flew from its
mothers womb
patience, child
too much! too soon!
everything depends on you
dislodged & dismembered by a
backward moon
forward march
april, may-----!
meet me in june

[thales cries]
in my imagination
i know this girl
dont know if she luv's me
or is just
in love with my world
she whispers to me
softly
words ive wanted to hear so badly
something quite sadistic in this
mad-mad-imagining
well, never mind
never tell
already musta figured out
that this life
IS HELL
i saw a vision once when i was
damn-near comatose
, & laughing!
haha-ha-ha-ha!
something fucking twisted in this
mad-mad-imagining.

[tell, william; tell...]
william sits and hes alone
his faced pressed to the sunlight
a child in a candy store
-ish
he is happy for this moment
in this space to call his own
all he has is fought & won for
in his wonder-years
on a battle-field
crying foreign tongue
blasted past that followed after
another god-damned American Disaster
william
sits and rolls another smoke
in the city of the rose
listen to her heave & moan
he is happy in this moment
in his happy little home
but all the grandoise fools
in-passing
they will never know.

[sub]
sent to death & by my own bare ass
(lost shock value in statement)
believe every word ever said
even felt a slight tingle of excitement
---how 'bout THAT!
deluded by default & some
faulty wiring
i suppose
(i proposed!)
just another wire hanging on
though
i dont want to change a thing
not my underwear or that burnt-out
lightbulb
(if i bring light, then am i God?)
it never ends if its no ones fault
had ME fooled, so
i guess thats a start
sheath that sword, baby
or
cut out my heart.

[super-duper]


Jovial


Stellar

[open memorandum]
ok...start!:
to whom it may concern,
the man to whom you may refer
as ---!
is disinclined to decline your request
for an offer
but
seems, rather, perturbed by
some
things heard
by those to whom it may concern
who,
in turn,
informed the man to whom you may refer
as ---!
with certain improprieties mentioned
thus
we disengage the acting trust
preferring astral wonder-lust

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
sincerely,
yours truly.

[shy away]
do you remember the day-dream?
all that
bubble-gum & ice-cream
too?
i may have been
hallucinating,
its true...
point taken;
through the chest (someone
said it'd be best)
if i forsake & forgo
all these
obscenely fat sentences, then
(baby, please)
know what lives inside of me.

==

a picture-portrait of all the
little things
some obscure
all quite damaging
to me
to you
and...
YES---!
i am that fool
the asshole ive always claimed to
be
(nothing more would just be
lame)
nothing less
certainly
am i, now, to pay
all them by-gone sins of
yesterday
coughed up in foriegn currency
& i would most gladly
but
atleast
there may be nothing that
i need
not like this
not like that
too little too late
i make my great escape

[from Addict]
...the point was taken. a slight jab to the arm. looked away, over-shot. had to go in again.
some say that it was inevitable, THIS was inevitable. fall back in cinema style. curl the taste from the back of the mouth, bring it forward to the sweet spots on the tongue.
hogwash!
i say it now as ive said it then, everything; EVERYTHING!!! i chose to do. i wanted to. i made whatever excuse i could use, and it felt good. but i knew the demon well-enough by the time i sat there, dilated and smiling. sam came out of the back room having gone off to shoot into his ass-fat. the shuffle of his walk and the smile on his face said he too was in a happy place.
we talked. we smoked. and he was right, that vomiting that happens when you first start going...it was quik and easy. just like when being drunk and thankful to be emptying your guts of rot-gut wine. out went my mcdonalds cheeseburgers, fries, and coke.
sam just kept on talking.
then he nodded off. i looked up and saw the sky. tainted orange from street-lights. i couldnt see orion.
the next shot a few hours later did better. doubled the dose.
i saw stars.
friggin stars, man.
it was beautiful.
...sam showed me how to clean and care for my rig before i left. keep the cottons, for a later date. gave me my cut of what we had purchased, sent me on my way. we both knew i'd be back...

[home, not home]
city cold
come warm dead bones
as the flesh succombs to all these years
melt away
deteriorate
everything
now i lost the thing i had
to stay

[manufacturers warning]
what is that frantic ranting of
emergency---
urgency.
dialed to a tone.
it makes me make
faces
and a thought like outer---
spaces
on the checkered-bored-game
that IS
this would-be life of
obessive strife.
of mine, atleast. it seems
that
anyway, or
every which---bewitching! way
i supposed...
no matter WHICH goddamned road.
i choose---i chose
it never is the right way
always turning left
all the way to way, way down
one cant make a fool
of a
self-proclaimed clown
with crowns and thorns and
implied best thoughts
(we must not be swayed by
little things)
this can be done properly
guiding light of guidelines of property
ancient earths hold ancient truths
& so so do you
but i do too
by straight-up numbers----
are ye numb yet?!
the conclusion follows the bleeding
point
self-confessed, professed, and
left for dead.
didnt want to hear what i couldve said.
ashes, dust, mold, & rust
the whole-ly un-holy
by no other name still lies...
say its self-sacrifice

[real]
was it all just a dream?
these years line up seem
so
menacing.
life is work and not just
play-things
if i offered up silence would you
still dare to think?
presumption is the mother of all
fuck-ups
all this and more
i know
i know enough to know
i know nothing at all

[hilarious]
DHMO
join the cause...
today!

[tout le monde]
the sky is falling!
the sky is falling!
but i am not afraid,
my darling.
wash my hands in
blood-red sky; the
saintly sky---
birthplace of all thats defined
divine.
inspiration, bullet-proof temptation
captivate the popular population
& then----!
enslave them!
mutiny of masters lost on the
crapper.
spectacular disaster
-prone to fits of weakness after.
cast adrift in this
woeful sea of drunken sodomized
hypocrites.
rudderless.
-& quite a mess & missing.
all in grim analogy.

[shoot me? shoot you!]
time gears crunch & grind; the Man always
comes
but in his own good time.
---3 more exits left to exsist.
knowing his effect, he
blantantly disrespects the Machinery;
the moving parts of the living thing.
tic-toc; grumble-growl
that great big cock loose
and prowlin' 'round.
burned the best things i ever had
burning eyes; son of my dad.
he with a clean nose
dont know
that book is done, but why
wont these pages close?

[ammendum]
when you run for so long
crying out in the dark
everyday
ends the same way;
dying of a broken heart...

bound together by un-want of feeling
still a million miles apart
she changed that day
i heard her say
she was
dying of a broken heart...

revel in the shadows
guided by the start
pushed away
but its
a-okay
you can go on
dying of a broken heart...

[clock]
soiled leaves on the dirty
dirty ground
look hard for the lost & found
a house of painted pictures
---clowns!
that scream the hated verbs
& nouns.
but words can save &
words
can drown
picture-perfect all around
nothing gained by thorny
crowns
'cept horny thieves who think
aloud
but no more me.
such lovely love-sick crowds
abound
with every tic-tic-toc'ing
sound
i lay myself on the dirty
dirty ground

[lewis, mistreated]
let the child never wake
to inherit this world of a mess
we've made
spare'em such horrors as pain
and death
instead
just skip on ahead to
eternal rest
yes,
i think thats best
yes,
there are some sacrifices
first kisses
good friendships
a loving hand to hold
the spark of life in the cold
these are all fine and dandy things
but come too few and
far between
let my child just stay asleep
please
for him
for me
rest eternal
peace