[tell, william; tell...]
william sits and hes alone
his faced pressed to the sunlight
a child in a candy store
-ish
he is happy for this moment
in this space to call his own
all he has is fought & won for
in his wonder-years
on a battle-field
crying foreign tongue
blasted past that followed after
another god-damned American Disaster
william
sits and rolls another smoke
in the city of the rose
listen to her heave & moan
he is happy in this moment
in his happy little home
but all the grandoise fools
in-passing
they will never know.

[sub]
sent to death & by my own bare ass
(lost shock value in statement)
believe every word ever said
even felt a slight tingle of excitement
---how 'bout THAT!
deluded by default & some
faulty wiring
i suppose
(i proposed!)
just another wire hanging on
though
i dont want to change a thing
not my underwear or that burnt-out
lightbulb
(if i bring light, then am i God?)
it never ends if its no ones fault
had ME fooled, so
i guess thats a start
sheath that sword, baby
or
cut out my heart.

[super-duper]


Jovial


Stellar

[open memorandum]
ok...start!:
to whom it may concern,
the man to whom you may refer
as ---!
is disinclined to decline your request
for an offer
but
seems, rather, perturbed by
some
things heard
by those to whom it may concern
who,
in turn,
informed the man to whom you may refer
as ---!
with certain improprieties mentioned
thus
we disengage the acting trust
preferring astral wonder-lust

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
sincerely,
yours truly.

[shy away]
do you remember the day-dream?
all that
bubble-gum & ice-cream
too?
i may have been
hallucinating,
its true...
point taken;
through the chest (someone
said it'd be best)
if i forsake & forgo
all these
obscenely fat sentences, then
(baby, please)
know what lives inside of me.

==

a picture-portrait of all the
little things
some obscure
all quite damaging
to me
to you
and...
YES---!
i am that fool
the asshole ive always claimed to
be
(nothing more would just be
lame)
nothing less
certainly
am i, now, to pay
all them by-gone sins of
yesterday
coughed up in foriegn currency
& i would most gladly
but
atleast
there may be nothing that
i need
not like this
not like that
too little too late
i make my great escape

[from Addict]
...the point was taken. a slight jab to the arm. looked away, over-shot. had to go in again.
some say that it was inevitable, THIS was inevitable. fall back in cinema style. curl the taste from the back of the mouth, bring it forward to the sweet spots on the tongue.
hogwash!
i say it now as ive said it then, everything; EVERYTHING!!! i chose to do. i wanted to. i made whatever excuse i could use, and it felt good. but i knew the demon well-enough by the time i sat there, dilated and smiling. sam came out of the back room having gone off to shoot into his ass-fat. the shuffle of his walk and the smile on his face said he too was in a happy place.
we talked. we smoked. and he was right, that vomiting that happens when you first start going...it was quik and easy. just like when being drunk and thankful to be emptying your guts of rot-gut wine. out went my mcdonalds cheeseburgers, fries, and coke.
sam just kept on talking.
then he nodded off. i looked up and saw the sky. tainted orange from street-lights. i couldnt see orion.
the next shot a few hours later did better. doubled the dose.
i saw stars.
friggin stars, man.
it was beautiful.
...sam showed me how to clean and care for my rig before i left. keep the cottons, for a later date. gave me my cut of what we had purchased, sent me on my way. we both knew i'd be back...

[home, not home]
city cold
come warm dead bones
as the flesh succombs to all these years
melt away
deteriorate
everything
now i lost the thing i had
to stay

[manufacturers warning]
what is that frantic ranting of
emergency---
urgency.
dialed to a tone.
it makes me make
faces
and a thought like outer---
spaces
on the checkered-bored-game
that IS
this would-be life of
obessive strife.
of mine, atleast. it seems
that
anyway, or
every which---bewitching! way
i supposed...
no matter WHICH goddamned road.
i choose---i chose
it never is the right way
always turning left
all the way to way, way down
one cant make a fool
of a
self-proclaimed clown
with crowns and thorns and
implied best thoughts
(we must not be swayed by
little things)
this can be done properly
guiding light of guidelines of property
ancient earths hold ancient truths
& so so do you
but i do too
by straight-up numbers----
are ye numb yet?!
the conclusion follows the bleeding
point
self-confessed, professed, and
left for dead.
didnt want to hear what i couldve said.
ashes, dust, mold, & rust
the whole-ly un-holy
by no other name still lies...
say its self-sacrifice

[real]
was it all just a dream?
these years line up seem
so
menacing.
life is work and not just
play-things
if i offered up silence would you
still dare to think?
presumption is the mother of all
fuck-ups
all this and more
i know
i know enough to know
i know nothing at all

[hilarious]
DHMO
join the cause...
today!

[tout le monde]
the sky is falling!
the sky is falling!
but i am not afraid,
my darling.
wash my hands in
blood-red sky; the
saintly sky---
birthplace of all thats defined
divine.
inspiration, bullet-proof temptation
captivate the popular population
& then----!
enslave them!
mutiny of masters lost on the
crapper.
spectacular disaster
-prone to fits of weakness after.
cast adrift in this
woeful sea of drunken sodomized
hypocrites.
rudderless.
-& quite a mess & missing.
all in grim analogy.

[shoot me? shoot you!]
time gears crunch & grind; the Man always
comes
but in his own good time.
---3 more exits left to exsist.
knowing his effect, he
blantantly disrespects the Machinery;
the moving parts of the living thing.
tic-toc; grumble-growl
that great big cock loose
and prowlin' 'round.
burned the best things i ever had
burning eyes; son of my dad.
he with a clean nose
dont know
that book is done, but why
wont these pages close?

[ammendum]
when you run for so long
crying out in the dark
everyday
ends the same way;
dying of a broken heart...

bound together by un-want of feeling
still a million miles apart
she changed that day
i heard her say
she was
dying of a broken heart...

revel in the shadows
guided by the start
pushed away
but its
a-okay
you can go on
dying of a broken heart...

[clock]
soiled leaves on the dirty
dirty ground
look hard for the lost & found
a house of painted pictures
---clowns!
that scream the hated verbs
& nouns.
but words can save &
words
can drown
picture-perfect all around
nothing gained by thorny
crowns
'cept horny thieves who think
aloud
but no more me.
such lovely love-sick crowds
abound
with every tic-tic-toc'ing
sound
i lay myself on the dirty
dirty ground

[lewis, mistreated]
let the child never wake
to inherit this world of a mess
we've made
spare'em such horrors as pain
and death
instead
just skip on ahead to
eternal rest
yes,
i think thats best
yes,
there are some sacrifices
first kisses
good friendships
a loving hand to hold
the spark of life in the cold
these are all fine and dandy things
but come too few and
far between
let my child just stay asleep
please
for him
for me
rest eternal
peace

[aimer, travaillir, et souffrir]
polka-dotted spotted fairy-tales
&
childhood fantasy.
dead-like druck, chicken luv
red-rimmed eyes never see.
suicide bastard from a
teenaged disaster
magnified
ten thousand times
iron lung disease
addiction lines cut thru permission
throw salt in wounds to heal the vision
heal me!
lovers wasted all their
true confessions
on
childhood fantasy.

[ode de BUK]
never fooled yourself 'to thinking,
did you?;
that
some how
some where
that there might be something
better.
ol' jack had the stars in his eyes
and that old french-man's heart
could sing.
but thats not you
and thats not me
what would you think if you'd ever
laid eyes
on me?
--"fucking pussy."
probably.

[pulminary chi]
thought with a smile
a twist of the face
all of it, then, seemed
worthwhile
so turn another page
so many calenders...
i sat & waited for
hours & hours.
i dont know what i thought
or that i ever did
but, oh----my god!
it was worth it
sunset in the plaza
pigeons flee
oh how i loved
every lil minute of it
when i finally left her
standing
at the station. i lost something
---sensation!
rarely have i felt much since
that is what she did...
her gift
& damnation
my souls salvation
& worth every penny of it.

[ode to saying "FUCK YOUR 2-PARTY SYSTEM!" :)]
what do you do when both sides are wrong?
& a third-party vote is just a third-wheel;
like that date-less guy in the car
on the way to prom...
' told that if you dont choose
one of the two that are
wrong,
you've wasted your voice;
& by your all-loving mom.
so what do you do?
no matter what, you lose.
so what
, just give up?; not even get in
the fight?
avoid confrontation thru long-worded explanation;
consciencious objector.
coward,
right?
what do you do? WHAT?! do you do?!?
no matter what,
your screwed.
are you gonna take it up the butt?
or
are they gonna have to
take you
down?

|quote of the day|
Buddah-Jack says:
"We all wait for the next thing to happen. It's happening all over the world only some places they supply prophylactics, and some places they talk business.
We haven't got a leg to stand on."

[sine qua non]
going back now to a
brand-new
destination
let go the clock
&
all my
long-held
aspirations
if i think too much
if it gets too real
toil endlessly to make
it
not a really big-deal
so much to laugh at
but
no time for love,
dr. jones
with a smile on my face
i am jones'ing for a
real deal