[polybicarbonate]
beg to believe in
'bout anything
really
anything real
atleast
that you might of
spilled
to me
big sack of sacrifices
sounds stupid
really
any word feels
atleast
like a weapon &
a shield; equally
anything can kill
i think
eventually

[i laugh at your big red x]
hey you
yer lame
and thats all the thought
you take

[totally]
hollow looks hurt most
from her
& too much can mean
too many things
forever too
dreams fade faster when held
too tight
just let go
now, go
battle scars from loving
gifts
tuesday never gave
two shits
lost alot when i
lost her
& too much can mean
too many things
tried too hard to
let her know
must let go
must let go
fading back to be
unknown
now go

[lust]
there is dawn out there
somewhere
speeding just beyond the horizon
it waits for the bare flesh
with harsh
magnifying lenses.
mistress of the-end-of-the-night
who comes but once
& then takes flight
do what you do
and when you do
you move.
me----?
sirred autistic artistic juices
concentrated
but 110% pure
CREATE!
music, poetry,
pictures with out paint!
its a wonderful, brand new day
come on lets sin,
says the saint.

[force of will]
what do you see when you look out on
the world
from the safety of that bubble
of your mind?
scent of fear for what is not known
& for what IS
known.
does MIGHT make RIGHT?
...as lincoln is credited
saying...
does the strong angry-man,
a mighty man with out an equal
in strength,
who over powers a girl
(weak & scared; young & naive)
a little girl on whom he
forces his will.
having his way with her
like a toy;
is this man a righteous man?
does his strength void the inherent
evil
of what he does?
no.
what of the government
who uses its armed forces
against its own people;
to mortally mark a gathering
of the people
by the people
& for the people;
stain the ground with the blood
of children
who dont understand.
all because they disagree
with the state of the nation,
supposed to be free.
where is the right
so honourably decreed as
the way?
is freedom not written as
all men being created equal;
with certain, unalienable rights:
life,
liberty,
& the pursuit of happiness.
living free & happy;
every body.
no imposition of
ideas or beliefs on you or others, by you;
welcoming opposition,
not silencing dissention
by force.
what is wrong if
this is right?
if might makes right,
i wanna be left.
look around
everybody
anytime;
hypocracy stares at you from
every where.

[get inside]
my body's not a temple
anymore
my mind is not as clear as it
use to be---.
and i passed out
at
your front door;
but im
two doors down,
-actually.

still,
youre not impressed that much by me {rpt.}

the morning, burning glory; burns
eyeballs set in stone.
pierce my eyes as i
let out a piercing scream---.
im trying, hard, not too think
& be
clever still.
consuming all this lovely
alcohol.

and your still
not all that impressed by me. {rpt.}

what does it all mean, pretty lady
tell me what really does it for you?
please, please, please tell me,
pretty lady...
i wanna get inside of you.

my heart, hear it beating? like a whore?
this is that
fine-line-re-al-(i)t-y---.
pluck & steal flowers for your car
from that neighbor that pisses
you
off.

caught
out on the lawn
spot-lights, & alarms
all coming on.
caught me
pee ing on the front
lawn.
my fly,
undone;
as bright as the sun.
tell your mother, your
father
just what i did.
butcher of flowers,
the boy who just
had-to-piss...
and just couldnt
hold it.

but youre still not all that impressed by me {rpt.}

[so]
you're oh so big
now
your mother must be so
proud
so in control
so mighty
so...!
...you know?
it must be so nice
to
exorcise
so much influence
so often
so that
those once deemed friends
say
'so long'
so often
so now this is the end
so what?

[high for the low-ball]
the tragic mind that wanders
round & 'round to the dark places
...while pondering empty spaces;
with a half-filled grin
eyes bright with the sin
of the moment; that never lasts forever.
for every chance taken
2 dozen, atleast, get left by the road
the waste that litters
a-n-y-b-o-d-y-'s
past
changing the future
whats forsaken
---become living proof to her!
make haste for the last thought
live & die
like a man.

[mulatto]
no ones answering &
the voices fill up my head
stomache turns & gargles
i pour another whiskey down
the old girl doesnt get
it
the new girl doesnt get
it
im the only one who gets
it.
black emptiness enfolds us
the stranger dies in your arms
another victim of a hard-knock-
life
and i
pour another whiskey down

[et tu]
birds in flight &
i'm
really flowing now.
ive gotthe 2nd sight;
ive got the mad
look.
screw in the corkscrew
as if to say:
"screw YOU, world"
when nobody wants or
needs you
its easy to disappear

[the unfinished garden]
run with the fury
run with the hunted
run your cold, dead fingers
thru my hair
goodbye, baby
i love you
always
still
night, calm; cold darkness
---open your eyes!
i made a deal with the devil
but
the devil, he lied
so i
run into the madness
run full speed into the night
run down days like
so many lines
i miss you, baby
always
still

saying goodbye
again
my
love

[mandala]
the star-body heat-lamp high over head
another fat, black fly feels oncoming death
old men pushing archiac machines down cratered streets
noise echos but is held by gravity
children in new clothes & wrapped safely in plastic
souls being fed like pollution & old habits
breathe in the air
of the last hundred years
liquid smoke leaves me blue, it shares my hue;
leaves my lungs and dissappears
the fat, black fly has found some back-up
a partner-in-crime; or maybe true love?
while the nuclear inferno rages on high above

[hindsight]
drunk on a rose
with its pedals &
leaves
still wet.
high as a kite
waking up
in your
lovers bed.
getting strung out on
the constant
embellishment ---
love, so surreal
&
true, fucking
happiness.
bound by the rules
& the laws known as
circumstance.
enjoy all you can
while you can, my friend
it doesnt last;
no one ever wins.

[bullet holes]
offer me a choice & i'll
certainly
pick to lose. anyway,
its like some dead man always said
'the monkey's only bothersome
until
he gets fed'
never quite knew what he meant
but i can guess
now.
a simple matter
now.
the picture lies in
tatters
strewn across the ground
the landfill
because i know you didnt recycle it...

SHIT!

!!!

threw out that heart,
true?
after it was painstakenly reassembled
in accordance to all the rules;
with old paint and glue.
just tossed it away despite
claims, nay
vows;
it'd be saved.
what does that say?
we are all sinners
nothing is saved.

[Buddah-mind]
om.
i wait
practicing
my patience.
let fate
decide
where it shall take me.
i meditate,
clear my mind of these
old things;
& feel bliss.
i wait
& exercise
my patience.
om.
om.
om...

[visions of boston]
a white pedal falls
down in a spiralling pattern
into the street in a path of pure beauty
amazing!
& then it gets pulverized
ground into the ground,
molecules merging with the asphalt
& concrete;
mashed like potatoes by the tires
of a young woman behind the wheel
in a very large automobile.
she is talking away on her phone
she dont pay for
like her car
or tuition
or anything really.
scored with the tread-marks of this
one-hit wonder-bra touting
female of anxiety
its pure, white glory
destroyed.
left to decompose, slowly
in a gutter.
so i sit in absolute silence
reliving & praising that fall
before it met
inevitability

i know how you feel...

[make]
wheels turning 'round as they
chew up the way down.
out along the coast in my
chariot that smokes gasoline
my mind
full of headache & im willing to pay
heart of mine
still slowly bleeding & yes,
it is bothering me.
im gonna go down to that
dirty border town &
boy, im gonna drink
im gonna drink, drink, drink
until i cant feel a thing;
im gonna drink, drink, drink
until it erases me.

[word]
remember The Word
& the dream that was shared.
binding in passion
&
relief that we weren't alone;
somebody cared.
how many times did we just
talk
away crazyness?
inviting the calm that
comes; it exists!
knowing that somebody else
gets
all of this.
so nice to feel, solidarity.
mutually assured.
that wonderful, wonderful
happiness
that comes from knowing
The Word

[unadulterated]
as we all sit and squabble over petty things:

yesterday
people died.
they died from bombs falling
out of they sky;
they died
from bullets aimed between
the eyes...
floods and famine are just
not enough?
i guess.
brother killing brother is
what we do best.
i have never killed another
man.
i am we the walrus sings
i am still human.
wars rage on
mothers will cry
& today
people will die.

[paraphrase of the century]
last night
i had a dream about this girl i know
& she loved me
& it was good
i woke up
with a sudden urge to kill myself
& it struck me
& i fell down
it was no longer a question of
'if'
but 'how'

[birds and girls]
sometimes feathers cannot keep you
but then again, he never needs you
so tired of crying that your
eyes feel like they're drained
remember outside in the rain?
i held your head
you gave me pain
i rip old wounds fresh again
everytime i remember them