[ feel this ]
it lingers for a moment
hangs tight inside the air
brushed away like a bad smell
& scattered to the night.
precious words roll like thunder
she shivers in the cold
dance with me all goddamn night long
then hold me like a kitten.

move with the words, the sound of the rythm
so many heart-beats sounding in tune
i think that i may be in love with this moment
but darlin
i know
im in love with you

[dribble]
i paint
this picture,
etched upon
time.
i fracture
the
over-head
moon
light
into many
other
me's.

[permission]
to be allowed
to do the thing.
that wonderful
thing.
that which makes
me.
who i am
& want to be.
to be
the thing
that's me.

[flight school tragedy: death of a dirty pigeon]
hey YOU!
you dirty pigeon
you.
you filthy fiend
you.
they killed
you.
dead
you.
rotting corpse
you.
poor, poor
you.
you mangy thing
you.
rat with wings
you.
dirty, filthy, mangy
rotting-corpse
you.
poor, poor dead
you.
you dirty pigeon
you.

[ rain drops cover tears ]
if your cold,
& you want to,
we could find some place
to hide.
away from the crazy people
who
hound & torment you;
who
look at you with
prying eyes.
wrap ourselves
in body-heat
wash away the fear
of
all those trials &
tribulations;
denials &
expectations.
...to find our solace
in the place
of a
tear.

[warning-bell]
i'll tell you what i think
if my thoughts can blow away
disappear like a dream each morning
part the clouds to show me
BLUE SKIES!!!
an open mind shall kindly show
the Way.
i'll show you the world as i see it
everything, the up's & down's
the river valley's and the rocky peak's
all the color's & all the shade's
the road thats mine i kindly call
the Way
...
...now that the warning bell didn't
warn you. i am a verbal deviant.
uttering useless, non-descript statements
describe, in detail, my own true madness.
as to blind you as to what i meant
and hide away my Real Big Secret...
the years have kindly kept it...
the road could not but help it...
feign i'm narcaleptic...
washed in antiseptic...
all i have left is
this.

[yeah, YOU!]
in a dark, cluttered hallway
you sit
mumble nonsense to yourself
soaked in those deep, dark feelings
sorrow, pain, remorse, and guilt
you hope someone will see you
save you
from yourself
because, of coarse, its not your fault
you just want what
everyone wants
a little sunshine to themselves.

[goodbye great-grandma]
the gone days of youth
&
youthful thinking
expired
as soon as i
saw
the Truth.
long before the pubic-hair,
changing-voice,
and female cares;
in a chapel---baby blue
my first corpse.
someone i cared about,
someone i knew.
in those playground days
that number was a precious few.
it hit me right there
as i stared,
trying not to stare.
i walked up the aisle
from out my mother's hands
looking at death
square in the eyes.
a child of maybe five?
death looked at me
and winked.
"it's not your time yet,
laddy. but someday we will
meet."

we can either sit and wait
for death
in our office chairs,
lay-z-boy's, bucket-car-seats;
or
take each moment as it comes;
as something precious
before its done.

[#1]
drink up to help you feeling down; laugh as all your feelings drown; into dust & city pipes; atleast, for now, you feel alright; tomorrow will bring problems of it's own; sorrow, i'm sure, will be #1; but tonight needs me sedated; completely shit-faced and fucking wasted; just so i might get some sleep; i don't want to feel a goddamn thing.

[aw, shucks!]
im feeling rather short of breath and
my
heart is pounding in my ears.
kind of like all them goddamn voices
i
keep locked-up inside my head.
my body's numb but,
yet
tingling from
the top of my head to the tip's of my toes.
a sensation felt usually
with
the extacy i know.
every second it builds more & more
& more...

swallow me in those darling eyes
wrap me in your arms to die
let your smile get me high
& never, EVER!; say
goodbye.

[---/nevermind]
---
can you tell me? is it now?
before this moment sputters out
counting seconds that make up a decade
always end up falling down
always so full of doubt
but these moments make a lifetime
and thats what i'm about

~~~
nevermind

hey darling,
do you even notice me?
i'm sitting over here;
sitting on my bed
with you!
-vision from my dreams.
oh honey,
don't you see me here?
i'm trying so damned hard
to be so cool.
despite my first instinct
that is
to jump on top of you.
my baby,
my angel,
sweet love of mine;
would it help me at all
if i
turned on the light?
it might just be
its hard for you to see
me
way over here
in the dark.
sweet, sweet
Erin;
my love...
pay no attention to
anything
i've written you
above.

[yup!]
read what i wrote you!
these words
they're for you!
the bastard children
of
only me.
sprung from within my
mind;
like Athena
& twice as bold!
splattered
just then
onto this caring page;
like a back-room abortion
too late into its term.
grasping for breath while
its dying,
turning blue.
waiting.
waiting for YOU!
to touch the breath that
touched your lips
to be read aloud and
to touch said lips.
you mouth them as your
eyes
stroke the page.
to be so slose to those
lips...
to touch them,
tease them,
please them...
i'd give my dying breath!
a word cast upon
some
unsuspecting page,
grasping in this moment
waiting to be read.

[ my heart ]
sit breathing lightly as
the sun peaks up
and
stare at the beauty
as she's sleeping
in
my bed.
if i lean in
to kiss her cheek,
she smiles
'cause
she knows it's me.
from feeling nothing
to
this new extreme
of thoughts
and
emotion
like a normal human
being.

the coolest license plate holder...
"if youre gonna ride my ass
you can atleast pull my hair"

[ void ]
vacant is the memory
as the thoughts race 'round
my head
too many people all
gathered here
pulling at a piece of me
this one wanting something
and others wanting more than that
my attention
my affection
my hopes my dreams and
my direction
but i have but one desire
to live in peace with my
one true other

[ separation anxiety ]
mondays are always circled on my
calender of affairs
for reasons i dont care to discuss
right now
and last night i decided
that i should just fucking tell her
honesty in style...
waking up to the sounds of a ghost
that kept me up for years
like this one time a few years ago
i woke up to a lover's tears
love is hard when you got tears
breathing love away with tears

but this old man, well
he's a real pro
he's got it in for the
holy ghost
not from fear, his love is clear
wash away all those years...

hidden away with some other things
a shoebox tucked beneith the bathroom sink
i found it late
late that fall
hidden away with some mysteries
the images that let me see
i was never loved at all

[ old ]
see
she sits
and stares.
an old lady now
but not always.
her years
they ran away from her
with out her
noticing
with out
her
permission
and now
she sits
and stares.
at nothing
because
shes got
nothing
else to do.

[ its a hard knock life ]
i woke up this morning,
rolled over,
and made love to my baby.
then she had to go
and i had to go with her.
i was too drunk last night and
left my car in front of her parents house.
we stood,
making out in her drive way
the bird
that always shits on her car
koo'd at us from the bushes
singing the sweet song
of love.
she blew me a kiss
and handed me a box of eggo mini's
i hoped in my car
lit up a clove she likes to smoke
for myself.
and drove home to pursue my day.

[ pavlov's dog ]
i have waited and tried to think it through; but the more i do
the more it fails to make a bit of sense. ive discussed it with my closest friends.
my peer's, my advisor's, my confident's. but this was born of my own mind.
that twisted thing behind my eyes...running hot on Overdrive since way, way back in '85.
i was born an old man, an 'old soul' or whatever. throw in an over-active imagination, severe mental-health-deficencies, and a hunger to
KNOW IT ALL!!!
stir and let simmer for 10 or more -odd years. an old-soul-basket-case
who never sleeps because, when alone, he has to dream and dreaming can be some scary shit. let the subconscience of this burgeoning mad-man loose?
Fuck That and Fuck You too!
if im going to sleep its going to be with chemical assistance, thankyouverymuch!
a self-inflicted semi-comatose vegative state to kill the dreams that my brain likes to make. left to stand in the clear with these burning questions and the answers far from view.

[ rotf lmao ]
yup...just what it says

...or rather doesnt say

hmmm...

there is so much comedy in the world

GOD!

...i love being alive!