[echos of heart]
cascading brow lines fall off my
dumb-struck face;
& the canvas sits empty:
a portrait of space.
life keeps on happening
every single day
& love happens quickly
then quickly goes away.
chlorinated water
that runs down the drain
there goes life wasted
with minimal complaint.

...better than to have it thrown away
in some dumb fit of rage
like pictures i made
& gave
and was told would be saved
always
and forever...
which from all ive experienced is about 2-3 months

[post-humerous response]
your thoughts --- tingled senses
& yer feeling quite reckless
you close with an off line
much louder than mine
louder than hers
louder than words
just a heart needing mending
but them dollars yer spending
could buy every line from here
to the moon
death is the last bastion
and it echos in your head
you cant really do it
so you kill off the feeling instead
it becomes mind over matter
and your mind's turned to batter
& nothing more need be said

[a shameless thing to do]
im timing the sunlight
y' fuse it together
run like a freight train
change with the weather
heartaches & heart attacks
a heartless expression
love is an alibi
but never a lesson...
dining on paper plates
drinking box wine
watching te ferris wheel
watching your eyes
canopy changes
hold on to that second
love is an alibi
but never a lesson...
cop to a new routine
patterns in clouds
mind still lies openly
while thoughts jump around
sweet chemical handgrenade
shows me whats missin'
love is an alibi
but never a lesson.

[branch]
as the nation breathes
as the city sleeps
on a holiday
or the seven seas
on a holiday
-is it picturesque?
did you ever think?
am i one of those?
i am only me...
back in budapest
in the county jail
smoking mary jane
skipping out on bail
didnt leave a note
couldnt read that well
wouldve thought you knew
that my love's for sale...
on a wing & prayer
in the family tree
didnt recognize
didnt notice me
if the past is lost
does it still repeat?
dont wanna think tonight
i just wanna be...

[blind]
into the twilight, the spot light
the long night-
driving.
wishing you were alright, no dead eyes
flying...
but the world sticks out its tongue
& you do too
and we swerve to the left-hand
side
while the memories cloud up the view
replacing memories
with wine.
off into the dark night, not alright
no foresight-
blind.

[the horse that is high]
puff, puff, baby...give
no second thought
to
the thoughts of the bad things
those memories,
forgot.
play the martyr, yeah
i'll be the demon.
i don't care anymore
even if you lie and think you do;
did
lie to yourself
lie to your friends
lie awake at night
think about the heaven
we had
that you threw away.

[be there]
a call to arms against
all tyranny
lurking in the shadows
& in the castles of the nation
rise up! all ye men of
honour
kill the whores that kill
your sons
your daughters
strike back for what you
believe
can be
fight the evil
reclaim your country

[ach-em!]
you think you've loved
well
um
excuse me
for seing past your lies
deceit
gathered up whats
um
left
for me
scattered notes
and
bits of saline
doesnt hurt 'till you
make me bleed
with the prescence of yours
truely
i abolish all that makes me
unclean
your love
your lies
the future
unseen

[i can see it all]
shards of truth in a
confectionary glass
aparatus.
the trust abused,
she says to you.
so i go and walk a mile
to walk it off and see my visions.
the hiways there, i know. but
still
theres something missin'.
the holy hand that passes up
when plague regrets;
you feel no love.
i wish i were a star that night
i wish i may...
i wish tonight.

[a moment of relapse]
love is lost despite
fruitfull labour
& still i find it hard to
hate her
falling back down my
evil ways
well,
time is money &
crime does pay...

feel alone
& im achieving
feel no love
only breaking
nerves are racked
anticipating
lying down
body shaking...
several moon's &
summers waiting
not surprised
sun is fading
loss for words
imitating
with my mind
masturbating...


seven times remember her
then push it from your head
& every time you loose a second
amongst the four post's of your bed
for seven years ive traced each sin
made martyrs of them all
in a bed
high above the streets
or
in a bathroom stall
maybe we could make it happen
if sex was all it was
loosing track of conversation
loosing the feeling,
love.

[you]
this is for you
you
know who you are
who spit in my face;
you stole my heart.
this love's now a burden
what once gave me wings
its flame once burned brightly
in your eyes
---yeah you!
& now i must keep
it
close.
i know you're out there
doing your thing
everynight
happy.
im glad your happy.
be
happy.
smile darling...

[ recovered memory ]
i get musical when i
think
of love.
i get cynical when i
think of what love does.
pulls you
inside-out
for all the world to see...
humming softly this
melody.
i got this song to sing...
i got this thing...
in me.
i may get whiney & i
may get
stale.
wash my mouth out
with a quart of ale.
im getting nervous, cant you see?
humming
all the while
this melody.
i got this song to sing...
i got this thing
'you see?
i got a song to sing
i got this thing
in me.

[words mk.IV]
bullshit! bullshit!
---scream aloud.
taste the dirt of this
hallow ground.
among the dead & the
mourning trees;
say The Lord's Prayer:
sing for me.
sing for me!
...i wish i may
i wish i might
have that solemn sleep
tonight.
in my dreams
love cannot die...
weeping angels no longer
cry.

[goddamn i am]
buck up!
be strong!
you say youre a man
well
then proove them all wrong!
take it
take it
all their abuse
those striking blows
and callous words too!
or dont
and we'll see
take one more step
set yourself free

Patron Saint of the Week
St. Dymphna

[balderdash]
back on the staircase
falling into
inebriation
nails in my shoes and
dirt under my nails
scatch me
make me bleed, again
do me
again
please?

[purgatory]
deep inside my eyes there is
me
not what is given; not what is stolen
the center of all that makes up
me
mind, heart, body, soul
i know that you've seen
me
and it is
me
you adore

~~~

watch the breathing of a dying man
ask him questions ---understand
offer more than a fucking blanket
simple conversation

[fault]
ultimate dynamo
speeding on roses &
antibiotics
matching wits with a
polar bear
who flames up, arthritis
the lemon twists in its
teeth
displayed awkwardly
fashioned in gold like a
worn
plastic model
cry when he sneezes
& laughter
sounds hollow

[atech-to-oh]
i...i hold my breath
i...i let my head, gently
drift
& then
i...i slowly dip
underwater
the oxygen inside my lungs
goes to my blood which carries
it
to every part of me
all my
extremities
the spaces deep inside of me
and my lungs want so much to
scream
this...this is living
underwater

[bullocks]
find the key to open it
the part of you thats been kept
locked up & away
all these many years
the hiding place of all them
feelings
the amazing
the fantastic
as well as all the bad ones
you didnt want them
so you said
but now you want them back again
all of them, and then some
the wonder
the beauty
of those everyday feelings