Best News I've Heard All Week:
{Math Proof That Girls Are Evil}
girls take up time & money or,
girls = time x money
time is money, therefor:
time = money
so
girls = money x (money)
or
girls = money2 {money squared}
and if money is the root of all evil, then:
money = v/evil <--my best attempt at a square root thingy
then:
girls = (v/evil)2
or
girls = evil

it looks better written out...

[loose lips sink ships]
they are guarding the streets with assult weapons
while we shop. looking for presants
for our loved ones.
they are guarding the money.
they eye us suspiciously
they have armor to protect
themselves
from us
they are afraid
they are afraid of us
when did they
stop being us?

[run lola run]
its cold...getting colder
death in the alley
dead of winter
i want to tell you things,
i do!
but saving it saves you
its a struggle to tell the truth
cautious enough to use up
all restraint
no leading on any farther
forget the old man with the untied shoelaces
he's no good you see. better to face it
now
NOW
now that the moon, day to day, gets even smaller
and smaller
run
hide
just RUN AWAY!
save yourself, please?
now - before it gets to you
now - because you still can
now - break the ties that bind you

[make]
made this deal with the devil
she promised me the world
she layed me down in her bed
made of flowers
her blue skin flashes when she screams
i asked her name and she never answered
didnt know that it meant something to you
im past the questions
im into the answers
im digging for something
but i sometimes forget.

[just the 2 of us]
maybe it's better...
...to what?! to forget her?!?
---i was hooker the day i met her!
now you what?
...i upset her.
tried so hard to stay together
but we never tried
together
we worked so well when we worked
together
...as strange a word as 'forever'
---ive never seen forever
last more 'n week
together
not ever

[harmony had it]
so much gets disturbed by some
issue with words; wrong ones,
foul ones. some you call
stupid
and some that build up
walls---the kind that always fall.
crashing down around me with the
faintest lil' smile
pressed upon those lips
pressing hard against my own
stealing all my heat
& my moisture
sucking me dry
leave me to linger in the sands
back to the desert, holding hands
whistling a tune thats stuck inside my head...
doo-de-doo-de-doo doo doo. doo-de-doo

close those baby blues
slowly count to ten
forget just after 8 or 9
...smile for me again?

[BAH!]
how many times did the church bell ring?
i was told by my shoes that duty called
they want another favour, they want Dignaty
dressed up-paraded 'round the mall...

why do i feel like gravity is killing me?
let the devil drive, he knows the way home
craddled in my arms i want her to be
buried in the ground is where you are

[aqua-me]
i beg to speak but only bubbles form
underwater
the muffled sounds & blurry vision
i close my eyes, lay
underwater
so many nights spent
underwater
or right near the surface
barely peaking out from
under water
swim to the bottom
thats my problem, bouyancy
id rather be
underwater

[XMIT]
cool my jets on something liquid
give a nod to minor passions
illuminate whatever that is
draw me a picture, lets talk about it

strangers known some time before me
processed on the bathroom rug
squealing, moaning ---beg for more!
put it in a letter; we'll talk about it...

this is an emergency
transmitting on all frequencies
im lost, im fucked ---oh, somebody PLEASE!
rescue me from the Mad Machine

is there anybody out there
any one but me,
myself & that other guy...
i
yes, i think thats it
quick
its dark and im getting sick
sick of this shit
fuck this
i dont wanna talk about it...

self-realization
my penis is like a retarded little brother;
driven by curiosity and a need to be hugged.

[the fool with a smile]
im running in circles
tearing everything
apart
my head up my ass
&
my ass doesn't care
bullet-proof, manicured
aire of resistance
to the recommended daily
allowance's
wit all of its
amendments
polished off
& wax resistant
like a child, so fast
so persistant
acknowledge something
i dont care what
admit your faults
confess to God!
leading on that you will
SAVE THEM
with all your mental
masturbation

no on e sho ul d tel l yo u w hat y ou be liev e

[rotflmao ii]
nothing kept
the offer made
the pigeons wept
for all who came
as sad affair
as old eyes see
the tragedy of it all
lay hidden
in the scene
obscure remarks?
-i guess, but
who says?
try to -hardly
works best if less
obscene.

[branded]
someday i will lose control; that sense of
self -myself-; & then
i'll fall.
from higher graces & a better stasis
from which we are all
absolved.
sure of this as sure as
anything. a better night
-wake up!
the sun, it brings
a taste of love, however
fleeting...
the only thing that keeps my
heart a' beatin'

lost
i found
a meaning to use
its alright
yeah, its okay
for now.

{!}
...like a midget in a urinal
i'm gonna have to stay on my toes


.

[this;that]
arteries that fee my monster
exsistence is what follows after
the fading light that drives me farther
its my life; its my disaster

severed head in hands so Holy
understood what god had told me
never knew ---how fucking boring
surest bet on the hand yer holding

like to think; need to know something
watch you dying in slow motion

[driven in by piles]
craping out on a slab of concrete
need a moment, if you please
Hollywood is on the streets
making up this vulgar scene
remenants of a life made up
a casualty to this brutal love
give me more-its not enough
'yer so damn cool';---yeah, so damn tough
what is seen is a TV screen
dressed to kill democracy
hold my hand while i slowly bleed
save a piece from the Mad Machine
15 minutes, thats it! your done
foolish lambs stare at the sun
Hollywoods' been over-run
write it off, have some fun

[false prophets]
fall asleep!
-you're just a whisper.
cut brutally from every picture.
scattered to flames
& winds
-so many times, so many
did.
in view of every single moment
the best there ever was, goddammit; we own it!
selling god
like fruits & roses



& the mind can stray when the
heart is tied; it seems only
over night. back next day - like
cattle let to range.

[the under-cover pigeon]
in the tender womb of the Queen of Hearts
with the Devil's Man & a deck of cards
the Offer made; now there's just that other part...
a broken groom seething shattered stars
his fertile bride
lays sleeping
underneith the yard

there's a House of Mirrors where the mind belongs
it might be said 'a tad naive';---but thats wrong
like the sunny side on the west end of dawn
two sugar-cubes meet & are gone---!
out there dreaming 'bout the other side of
the freedom in a song

she percolates out of a lovers bed
removes an arm to extract her head
...& then she walks away from him!
the sky's turning blue and her eyes are red
remember all those things we did?!?
have to laugh, so often did
just cant friggin' help it
she starts to run; her soul's been fed.

[signal]
...and we talk, back and forth
in radio-wave patterns
10 degrees of digestion for
every little noun
but i Holy-ily believe in
lost time & of caverns
that place in your eyes
that shakes with every little sound
under the tree's, lay on the grass
& your crying?!?
gave you my heart; ' made it bleed
& i - see - you - smil-ing